Owl neck detection device

Basically, an owl neck detection device is a device needed to determine where an owl's neck is. It is used when babysitting an owl, when it comes to tucking the owl into its bed. It is needed after you have put the pyjamas on the owl and made it lose its mind (owls are nocturnal- I'm wearing pyjamas but I've got to go out!).

An owl is essentially a one piece unit, its just a head and a body. Therefore a neck detection device is very handy on determining where the blanket needs to be pulled up to.
The neck detection device is essentially just a stick with a pointy thing on it, you put it next to the owl and it points to the neck and you pull the blanket up to that point and remove the device and tip the owl back. Sorted.

"Never put a blanket over an owl. Unless of course you're babysitting an owl and it wants tucking in. In which case, its fine."
"Can you tuck me in please?"
"But I'm never supposed to put a blanket over an owl."
"I'm ever so chilly. Can you tuck me in please, I'm ver-ver chilly"
"Alright just this once but its breaking all the rules.

"Is that it?"
"Its still not high enough"
"What about that?"
"It doesnt even cover my owl boobs!"
"Well how about that?"
"What are you doing?! You trying to kill me you mad bastard? You nearly suffocated me!"
"I don't know where your neck is do I!"
"Well you could have asked! Or at least use an owl neck detection device!"

by Tatie Shploud April 12, 2009

Deception Tab Shift

When you deceive your parents that you doing homework by shifting tabs. You put google on one tab and you put the actual website you looking at on another.

Deception Tab Shift

Alex is on facebook
Mom comes in
Alex shifts to google
Mom smiles and leaves room
Alex goes back to facebook

by Almanianc3D May 3, 2010

Directionally Retarded

A state beyond directionally challenged. One who is directionally retarded is legitimately useless at navigating anywhere, either by vehicle or by foot. This includes following a navigation system, going to locations they have been to countless times, or even as simple as following someone else's directions who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car. No matter the circumstances, no matter the stakes, one with directional retardation will simply always find a way to fuck it up. This accumulation of wrong turns and missed exits during any voyage means that they are generally always late to everything.

Driver- Ok, what exit do I take?
Passenger- Take exit 4 and then turn right onto cherry street.
Driver (takes exit 5 and then turns left onto Apple street)- Sorry, I'm directionally retarded

by LemonZest June 19, 2016

Systemtic Deception

Jimmy falsely believed the earth was a globe because of Systemtic Deception
Marys systemic deception prevented her from believing in our creator.

The act of making a people believe something that's false through various systems like schools, churches, pseudo science, cosmology, evolution and other forms of indoctrination in order too control a false narrative.

'Jimmy' falsely believed the earth was a globe because of Systemtic Deception

by Scotovna November 12, 2020

Black Dynamite Deduction

Where one deduces a solution to a problem or mystery by taking one clue and bringing it to another in a long chain of paranoid connections until it leads to the conclusion. Named after the famous ''Anaconda Malt Liquor Conclusion Scene'' in Black Dynamite, where the titular character somehow realizes that Anaconda Malt liquor was the government's secret weapon after Bullhorn said "melt in your mouth", making several arbitrary connections until it led to the answer.

*Gasp* "Human being"? That word kind of sounds like "bean." Beans are legumes, "legumes" has the word "leg" in it. Ian's mom has really nice legs, and Ian's mom is so old she's practically dead, which can only mean one thing! Oh my Bieber! YOU'RE BECOMING A ZOMBIE!
--Anthony Padilla from Smosh using Black Dynamite Deduction to deduce that Ian Hecox is becoming a zombie

by The Logical Fallacy July 16, 2016

direction infection

the best infection in the universe.It is givin by the amazayn band one direction.All directioners have it.

i have the direction infection an i'm proud of it

by love1d94 April 1, 2013

Directionator

A new One Direction fan that started liking them in March. They don't understand the inside jokes and says mean things about Niall's teeth. They don't understand the concept of Jimmy protesting NO and they like them for their looks.

Girl A- Do you like One Direction?
Girl B- Yes I am the biggest Directionator ever!!
Girl A- NO, Jimmy protested!
Girl B- What?

by feedtherainbow December 15, 2012