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Awkward Cockblock 

When you masterbate in you bathroom, and you are constantly cock blocked by a family member that wants to shit. They will yell, knock, pretty much suck the mood right out of you, and if they yell and knock hard enough, you will just cum all over the place, so in a sick sense, you couldve finished to your, baby sister, little sister, little brother, baby brother, mother, father, grandma, grandpa, uncles and aunts! you couldve finished to their voices, makin you a freak!
Guy 1 (jacking off) O yeah! Almost done

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Mom: (from other door) HURRY UP!

Guy 1: O shit! To much excitement! AHHH! (money shot)

Mom: What was that?

Guy 1: NOthing mom, you just did the Awkward Cockblock.

Mom: What?

Guy 1: NOthing...

Awkward Beached Whale 

N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.

Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.

*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
1) Perfect time to do awkward beached whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)

Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"

Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.

2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)

Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)

Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.

Awkward Turtle High Five 

The awkward turtle high five is a two man version of the regular awkward turtle.

Each person takes part in a regular high five, however, once hands have collided mid air, you keep your hands touching and then you each rotate your thumb as you move your hands upward, almost as if the awkward turtle was going for a swim into the sky.

The awkward turtle high five can be used in situations to overcome awkward moments, or just for fun.
"Dude! Happy Birthday!"
"Um..My birthday was last week."
"Oh. Right."
"Yeah."
"Awkward turtle high five?!?!"
"Awkward turtle high five!"
*awkward turtle high five occurs*

awkward antlers 

this means nothing. some idiot prep made this up after hearing about the awkward turtle.
awkward antlers by guernica January 17, 2008

awkward humping starfish  

Similar to the entire "awkward turtle family" but where you place one or two hands on someone else's person, and bend your fingers at your major knuckle (ones that attack your hand) and then flatten your hand. Repeat the process, and your hand will make a humping motion. Best for someone's shoulder or head.
1) "dude....awkward turtle."
"... awkward humping starfish ."

Awkward Cooter 

-Awkward moment

-Much more awkward than the "Awkward Turtle"

-Should only be used for the most awkward of times.
"Awkward Cooter"

-Getting hit on by the same sex. (Only if not gay)

-Three people are standing in a room, already an awkward moment, than you are asked to go to the baby pool? (Life Guard drama)

-Just put your two thumbs together and than your two pointer fingers together and you have the infamous Awkward Cooter.
Awkward Cooter by chillwill123 March 26, 2009

Awkward Seminar 

Of or pertaining to a phenomenon that often occurs in the minds of mentally challenged individuals that causes them to fabricate meaningless terms (usually sexual in nature.) These non existent terms have no meaning and are often inserted in casual conversation by the challenged individual in an attempt to fit into uncomfortable social situations where they often have little or no intelligence to contribute.
I work with a guy who needs to get on medication for his Awkward Seminar, he always says the most meaningless stuff and nobody knows what he is talking about.
Awkward Seminar by Rack 33 September 20, 2009