A fictional compilation of several stories about God, and his many, many slaves on the planet we like to call earth.
God: "Woop! I exist! Spread the word."
Jesus: "Aww, but Dad..."
God: "No buts, just DO IT!"
Jesus: "Fine. Whatever..."
And so it came to pass that Jesus did make up a whole load of shit just to please his old man, and thus the Bible was born. Amen.
Jesus: "Aww, but Dad..."
God: "No buts, just DO IT!"
Jesus: "Fine. Whatever..."
And so it came to pass that Jesus did make up a whole load of shit just to please his old man, and thus the Bible was born. Amen.
by catch22 October 19, 2007
Get the the biblemug. A religious text. Whether or not it’s fictional or non fictional is... up to you.
Lots of people like to throw it up at others in an attempt to ground their own bigoted beliefs, usually flipping to one page and then claiming it as evidence of something when really, it’s just a bunch of words made for a religion. Can you try not to, I don’t know, not attempt to weaponize religion? Who knows what you’ll get up to after cyberbullying children for liking the same gender.
Of course, not every Christian is like this, and assuming they all are is only stooping down to the worst ones’ levels. Assume the best out of everyone and you may just teach someone a valuable lesson ^^
Lots of people like to throw it up at others in an attempt to ground their own bigoted beliefs, usually flipping to one page and then claiming it as evidence of something when really, it’s just a bunch of words made for a religion. Can you try not to, I don’t know, not attempt to weaponize religion? Who knows what you’ll get up to after cyberbullying children for liking the same gender.
Of course, not every Christian is like this, and assuming they all are is only stooping down to the worst ones’ levels. Assume the best out of everyone and you may just teach someone a valuable lesson ^^
Religious asshole: the Holy Lord God has said that passing your own body to others for sex is a sin and you’re going to go to hell; Asexuality is a sin because you cannot have any children according to Jesus; gayness is illegal according to some random quote from some random guy; all of this is in the Bible therefore I am correct
Decent person with common sense, religious or not religious: The Bible is a book, not a wikia. Jesus was asexual. His best friend was a prostitute. The whole “man shall not lay with boy” is, in fact, against pedophilia, and not against homosexuality. Of course, since you’re a “devout Christian”, you likely already knew this, right? Considering you probably read through the whole thing and all. I hope you have, otherwise who knows? You might wake up tomorrow morning with the room a little hotter than it was the night before.
Decent person with common sense, religious or not religious: The Bible is a book, not a wikia. Jesus was asexual. His best friend was a prostitute. The whole “man shall not lay with boy” is, in fact, against pedophilia, and not against homosexuality. Of course, since you’re a “devout Christian”, you likely already knew this, right? Considering you probably read through the whole thing and all. I hope you have, otherwise who knows? You might wake up tomorrow morning with the room a little hotter than it was the night before.
by Some Friendly Gay Loser January 3, 2021
Get the The biblemug. the biggest work of fiction whose genre is fantasy.
Due to its content it is easily comparable to other books such as harry potter
Due to its content it is easily comparable to other books such as harry potter
hey, have you read the harry potter books?
no they don't interest me, the bible has more made up stuff that is clearly fictional and untrue.
no they don't interest me, the bible has more made up stuff that is clearly fictional and untrue.
by farran February 25, 2008
Get the the biblemug. The holy book of Christianity and Judaism. It teaches about objective morality and how to live the correct godly and spiritual life. The founding document of western civilization and human value. That’s why feminists hate it because Jesus would call them degenerate to their face and they don’t believe in morality or human value.
by JohnHD1998 January 6, 2021
Get the Biblemug. A word derived from James Bible like actions, whether it being on the lacrosse field or in everyday life. He is a folklore legend, a Paul Bunyon of sorts. He was known to play Lacrosse with a Redwood Tree and still outrun a cheetah. He was also known for drinking glasses of liquor at a time, while conquering asthma.
Also known as Drinking Alcohol, along with a phrase used with a physical gesture of manhood.
Also known as Drinking Alcohol, along with a phrase used with a physical gesture of manhood.
"Dude, look at Noah, he's bibling all over the place"
"Hey, you guys wanna go bible over at my place?"
"Hey, you like that bible? huh, do ya?"
"Hey, you guys wanna go bible over at my place?"
"Hey, you like that bible? huh, do ya?"
by AJMajew December 13, 2008
Get the Biblingmug. The Good Book. The number-one selling book of all time. The living, breathing, inspired Word of God. God's message to us on how we can find the only way to him---through Jesus his Son, so we can obtain salvation. Composed of the New and Old Testaments and 66 smaller “books,” the Bible was written over thousands of years from Moses (who wrote Genesis) around 3000 BC to John the Revelator (who wrote Revelation) at the end of the first century. The general theme of the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is that human beings are stuck in the middle of a spiritual war between God and Satan for the souls of mankind. Luckily, the Cross of Jesus Christ, the central figure of the Bible, allows human beings to choose which side they will swear allegience to. The Old Testament looks FORWARD to a coming Messiah and the Cross for our redmeption, while the New Testament looks BACK at the Cross. The Bible opens with the creation of the Universe and “the fall” of mankind and finishes with the Great White Throne Judgement, when all evil (including Satan and his followers) will be thrown into the Lake of Fire, putting an end to evil once and for all. The Bible is used for reporoof, for correction, for teaching and instructing in the way that human beings need to live. The Bible calls itself a “sword,” proving that it is very divsive among people. Yes, the truth will be divisive but effective to save the lost. People have tried to disprove it for centuries but it will never happen. Its message will NEVER be destroyed as it claims, proving to be the true Word of God Almighty.
by krock1dk@yahoo.com January 4, 2008
Get the Biblemug. "I think some cool motherfucker sat down a long time ago and said, Let's figure out a way to control motherfuckers. That's why they came up with the Bible."
-Tupac
god forbid, the bible is true :P
Source: mm, Mar 10, 2005
Tupac's dead!
-Tupac
god forbid, the bible is true :P
Source: mm, Mar 10, 2005
Tupac's dead!
by fuck Tupac March 20, 2005
Get the Biblemug.