toddlerness

toddler like

I was weird in my age of toddlerness

by Empiregaming13 May 3, 2018

Tablet Toddler

Synonym for iPad kid

“Oh god, there goes a tablet toddler-“

by Mckj May 4, 2022

toddler fashion

When somebody's fit is put together so poorly it resembles something an infant would wear if they dressed themselves.

Heels stuck in the bottom of their pants, dragging. Belt buckle off to the side and not centered. Misaligned buttons on a button down. Shirts on backwards and/or inside out. This is all toddler fashion.

by Shingouki March 22, 2024

Toddler slap

A male on male sex act. Most often preformed in the doggey position. The person at the back grabs the person's at the fronts child, still an infant by the legs and proceeds to donkey punch the person at the fronts head with the infant.

Hey did you hear Mike's not a did any more?
What?
Yeah Gaza was pumping him up the ass and toddler slapped him so hard he broke little John's skull.

by Toddler slap June 30, 2023

Toddler Lunch

A chaotic, strangely endearing meal that looks like it was curated by a tiny drunk person with no concept of food groups. Typically includes 3–7 unrelated items such as four Goldfish crackers, half a string cheese, two grapes (one already bitten), a cold hot dog, a pancake with no syrup, and something suspiciously wet. Bonus points if it’s served on a plastic plate shaped like a dinosaur or unicorn.

“I forgot to pack lunch so I just raided the fridge and now I’m eating a full toddler lunch at my desk like a gremlin.”

by Biofuel-Et April 22, 2025

Measuring Toddler

The unit of measurement used to establish if there are enough beans provided at an all you can eat / unlimited breakfast. There should be enough beans to drown a toddler.

The Measuring toddler can also be used to measure other liquids, such as tea.

Do you think the kitchen has been a bit Jewish with the beans? Let me fetch the measuring toddler and we will find out.

by Supertato May 6, 2018

Toddleritis

A disease of the mind that often inflicts one when they spend a lot of time with a toddler.

I’ve been taking care of a toddler by myself all week. I have extreme Toddleritis.

by gingerinstripes July 23, 2022