Scottish Turner

The affliction, most commonly manifest in drunken English people, that has the effect of making its sufferers speak in a scottish accent/dialect. After one too many pints of guest ale (usually titled Highland Fling or Glasgow Kiss etc) the Scottish turner starts by addressing everyone as Jimmy before sliding headlong into indecipherable (even to real Scots) gorbals. Will often end up staggering round the bar with a broken pint glass whilst attempting to headbutt sundry drinkers who've done nothing wrong. Is often ejected without difficulty and told to fuck off back to the Scotland from whence he never came.

English drinker: I say, did you see the Chelsea game last Tuesday?
Scottish Turner : See you, Jemmy...Yis're gunni git this up yis...yis fuckin bassad...Mon then, ya fuckin cunt yis...I wis born i'fuckin Glasgi.

by Lord Foreskin December 29, 2008

Scottish Regard

A fancy way of accepting someone's request to bid on your presence at an event.

Andy got a ton of bids for his presence at Operation Tofurkey but he only sent one Scottish Regard to that pederast Hanrahan.

by 2xDimes October 10, 2012

scottish smile

A frown.

Derives from the cultural stereotype of a Scotsman being stern and sombre when not tanked up on whiskey.

Dave's stand-up routine drew scottish smiles from the audience and was critically panned.

by Henrietta Hawkins August 25, 2010

scottish people

superior to everyone especially English people. we are the best people to exist

person 1:omg I love scottish people
idiot 1: ew nah I hate them
person 1: kys

by stanlana March 15, 2022

The Scottish Army

When you're doing a girl, you suddenly yell "ACH" and have twenty friends run in wearing kilts and then gangbang her until you all jizz inside her.

From then on, you refer to her as "haggis"

Girl: Did you really give martha the Scottish Army the other day?
Guy:Who, Haggis? Yea that was pretty fun.
Girl: She's in the hospital.

by BTLighting February 22, 2011

Scottish hello

A way of greeting a good friend, whereby you put a hand on their shoulder, then shout 'Give us a kiss!' and headbutt them. Bonus points are awarded if completed without spilling your drink.

"Ow, Mac just gave me a Scottish hello. He nearly broke my nose."

by Greg April 26, 2005

Scottish Goodbye

Similar to the "Irish Goodbye", but distinctively Scottish wherein instead of simply disappearing without saying farewell, you actually play psychological warfare with your enemies and tell them you’re coming so they wait on you when you clearly had no intention of showing up.

Cody told Brandon he'd meet him at the hotel bar in 20 minutes.
Cody leaves to the airport.
Cody pulled a Scottish Goodbye on Brandon.
Get rekt Brandon.

by CamrenLuvsVulva July 17, 2019