Council Clarinet

Usually a neon-colored, lithium-powered pacifier for the economically or socially challenged. It is a disposable vape (usually Blue Razz Lemonade or Watermelon Ice) permanently glued to the hand of a tracksuit-clad youth, dole pole dosser or a single mum with Jaden, Kayden and Lilly Mae in tow.

Named because of the vertical, clarinet-like appearance, and its ubiquity in areas where the local currency is lottery tickets and regret. The "music" played on this instrument is usually the sound of restricted airflow followed by a cloud of sickly-sweet chemical fog that smells like a fruit salad explosion in a chemical plant.

"Walked past the bus stop and got absolutely blinded by a cloud of 'Cotton Candy Ice'. There was a gaggle of year 8s in North Face puffers, all aggressively playing the council clarinet."

by Classic Ghostie December 8, 2025

blown out clarinet

An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.

Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.

by HM Barber February 22, 2019

B-flat Armored Clarinet

A name for the straight-belled soprano saxophone owing to its similarity to a metal clarinet.

Sam's ok on the alto-sax but he can tear up the b-flat armored clarinet.

by Sir-Hops-A-Lot February 14, 2021

Playing the Bass clarinet

To lick your man’s penis, andeat your man’s ass while fingering his penis

She got me off playing the bass clarinet

by Bcmusic July 30, 2025

Playing the Bass Clarinet

To lick your man’s penis, andeat your man’s ass while fingering his penis

She got me off playing the bass clarinet

by Bcmusic July 30, 2025

Clarineticorn

A unicorn with a clarinet as a horn. one can be a clarineticorn by placing the bell of one's clarinet on their forehead and holding it there so that the rest of the clarinet sticks up like the horn of a unicorn. (usually done while running and/or making akward, loud noises)

Person 1: (running with their clarinet on their head) "AAAHH!!!"
Person 2: "dude, what's that guy doing"
Person 3: "oh he's just being a clarineticorn"

by AAAHREALMONSTERS September 2, 2012

Clarinate

Clarinate Claryngitis Clarinathaniel (with a British accent) Clarindaniel (also with a British accent) Clarinatalia Clarinatricia Claringytia AlbertsEn

Look, it's Clarinate!
Oh no, he has Clarinitis 🅱!

by reichertag September 18, 2019