The theory that an intelligent pre-human race with entirely black sclera (eyes) evolved to the status of a civilization and technological mastery greater than that of the present human race on the planet earth, the population of which is entirely genetically manipulated and produced by cloning. These aliens/extra-terrestrials may inhabit any number of planets, including in our own solar system, and possess ultimate power over the earth according to the theory. Intelligent apes from before human history according to Brown's Sapient Evolutionary Theory cloned humanity and dominated them as slaves, and presently treat them lower than cats, dogs, and monkeys, treating all human beings as political chess pieces and science experiments.
by CoaltownBrown January 2, 2023
Get the Brown's Sapient Evolutionary Theorymug. the theory is that certain times of the day go by slower or faster than others even though they’re the same amount of hours..example, 7 am to 8 am goes by faster than 10 am to 11 am.
boy 1: woah dude it’s already 8:45?
boy 2: dude last time i checked it was 7:15
boy 1: it’s sam r’s theory!!!
boy 2: dude last time i checked it was 7:15
boy 1: it’s sam r’s theory!!!
by kittyluver22 March 18, 2022
Get the sam r’s theorymug. The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025
Get the Nutsakeum Theorymug. The Injury Theory is a theory states that you should let your child or animal do something and get a injury so that way they will learn to not do that action again.
(Guy 1): I use the Injury Theory with my child to make them learn things
(Guy 2): i moniter my child closely
(Guy 2): i moniter my child closely
by SleepyKade April 5, 2021
Get the Injury Theorymug. A theory used by measuring the number of days in a month. If your index finger touches your knuckle of your hands, the month has 31 days, while if you touch the skin of your fist, it has 30 (with the exception of February).
Scott: Dude, how many days are there in August?
Dave: 31.
Scott: Isn't it 30?
Dave: Use the Knuckle Theory.
Dave: 31.
Scott: Isn't it 30?
Dave: Use the Knuckle Theory.
by OpeN333 October 22, 2013
Get the Knuckle Theorymug. so basically, it referes to the theory from how i met your mother which says that the potential of a relationship is determined by whether one person in the relationship loves olives while the other one don't. In this case, the one who hates olives gave them to the other so they completed eachother. But the theory is not just about opposing points fitting well together : the most important thing is about willing to sacrifice something you love, to give it to the other.
Ted Mosby, HIMYM : The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lily : he hates olive, she loves them. In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple.
Later, Marshall actually admitted that he liked olives but gave them to Lily because she loves olives more
Later, Marshall actually admitted that he liked olives but gave them to Lily because she loves olives more
by legend-wait for it...-DARY November 17, 2023
Get the the olive theorymug. If one person in a relationship really likes bread and the other dosen't, it's a really good sign the relationship will go places. If both parties like bread or dislike bread there is a great possibility it won't go as well.
Meghan: I love bread
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
Shawn: I hate bread
Tomás: due to the Bread theory they are perfect for eachother
by Nicheis October 16, 2023
Get the Bread Theorymug.