eppileptic wank

When you cause someone who is epileptic to have a seizure while they are holding their penis, causing them to have a seizure and tuss off at the same time

Riley ended up having an eppileptic wank when Harvey shone a torch into his eyes.

by Seabridge Memester June 6, 2016

Wank Bank

A mental folder of photos used for the sexual pleasuring of yourself.

{Man mid-sex} I'll have to save that for the wank bank!

by Peachy_107 May 30, 2022

Wank Bandit

The act of sneaking into your neighbours house, connecting to and watching some porn on their own wifi until you ejaculate on a random thing in their home e.g. bed, sink, kettle etc. and go home like nothing happened.

This can also be done in schools, shops or other public venues.

Keith - “I left our neighbour Eugene a little present inside the dishwasher!”
Fredrick - “Dude that’s nuts”
Keith - “I know but not the kinda of nuts your thinking of, I pulled a wank bandit on him”
Fredrick - ...
Keith - “I also brutally slaughtered his wife and children”
Fredrick - “Nice”

by WalnutPaste April 20, 2020

wank blimp

Hold the tip of you foreskin whilst cumming to keep your glorious wank mess free.

Dude I totally did a wank blimp last night

by Wank blimp October 13, 2017

Wank Rash

Red patches that appear on ones chest after a vigorous wank. Occurs to excessive wankers.

Jack: “Lads, I was beating my meat last night, looked down, should’ve seen THE STATE of my wank rash!”
Ben: “I get that all the time, I love tugging myself!”

by skinnotheskank May 20, 2022

wank coma

The act of masturbating and falling asleep shortly after wards as a result of exhaustion

It was 2am and after pumping out a fat one, I was in a wank coma.

by Bigfatdoggo October 11, 2017

professional wank

Having a wank over someone’s LinkedIn profile.

LinkedIn recruiter: Hi! I came across your profile and thought you’d be great for this role.

Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me

by antlizard March 1, 2021