wank widow

A woman whose husband no longer finds her sexually attractive, no longer desires to sleep with her and instead spends his free time whacking off to porn.

Jill: Kelly always seems so unhappy anymore. What's going on with her?

Jane: That poor girl's a wank widow. Bob never gives her any attention anymore. Spends all his time on the computer.

by I'm Pseudonym February 28, 2011

Mossi Wank

While on the vinegar strokes, you scratch a mosquito bite to enhance orgasm.

I had a better orgasm when I scratched the mosquito bite on my arm. Mossi Wank

by Eddie Brezz June 24, 2023

Allegorical Wank

Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.

See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.

Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.

by Theilliterate June 28, 2023

woke-wank

A gesture, speech or outburst from a highly motivated member of the elitist wokerati.

Here we go again, lefties having a woke-wank.
I will not be woke-wanked on this one!

by garethc January 27, 2023

Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.

Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.

by This_guy0885 November 2, 2023

Danger wank

when you start wanking and shout to your mother to come to your room , and see if you can finish before she opens your bedroom door.

I'm so embarrassed, yesterday I failed at a danger wank.

by Dragon67 April 16, 2023

Wank Murder

Suicide, taking one’s own life, onanicide

“Did John kill himself?”

“Yes he committed, Wank Murder”

by Kyle Pseudo October 16, 2019