A Jersey Turtle is an annoying and vaguely Soprano-esqe pest that crawls out of the armpit of the United States, New Jersey, and infests 'quaint' and 'resort' towns throughout the state of Vermont. As soon as the snow hits they come up from hibernation to 'hit the slopes, dude!' The most common location for a Jersey Turtle to be spotted is along USRT.4 heading from New York state into Rutland, VT.
Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.
Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.
"Oh crap, is that a car in the median?"
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."
by theturtlehunter February 24, 2010
When you cum so hard your abdominal muscles contract involuntary causing you to hunch forward making your back curvy like a turtle shell
Person 1: Dude i came so hard last night! I turtle shelled for atleast 20 seconds.
Person 2: Nice bro. *high fives*
Person 2: Nice bro. *high fives*
by Thatguywhocamehard September 28, 2017
1. A rare breed of turtle that breeds in Australia, Canada, and Iran.
2. A stupid fangirl
3. A song by " My Trans Alaskan Railroad of Siberian Tragedies in modern cities across the globe" Full song title : Make Love to Me Hard and Fast (Douche Turtle)
2. A stupid fangirl
3. A song by " My Trans Alaskan Railroad of Siberian Tragedies in modern cities across the globe" Full song title : Make Love to Me Hard and Fast (Douche Turtle)
Johnny, go feed your douche turtle!
God slut, stop being such a douche turtle
I totally rocked out to douche turtle all night.
God slut, stop being such a douche turtle
I totally rocked out to douche turtle all night.
by Stunna Shades INC January 21, 2008
by sam harris June 13, 2005
The act of consuming an alcoholic beverage while doing doggy style, without the consenting partners knowledge.
Lachlan: I was shagging this woman, and I suddenly felt unbelievably parched.
Thomas(50/50): Holy crap, what did you do?
Lachlan: Ripped into doggy style and flopped out for the anti-turtle.
Thomas: Nice, came up for some liquid
Lachlan: Indeed, best lager ever!
Thomas(50/50): Holy crap, what did you do?
Lachlan: Ripped into doggy style and flopped out for the anti-turtle.
Thomas: Nice, came up for some liquid
Lachlan: Indeed, best lager ever!
by Joseph OsBeel McDavey July 17, 2008
Jake: Damn Jacob play that music!
Jacob: hold on! I'm snapping!
Jake: wow, your such a snapping turtle!
Jacob: hold on! I'm snapping!
Jake: wow, your such a snapping turtle!
by WildThang903 July 27, 2016
A sexual position in where you strap each of your testicles to the participants respective ears and rapidly thrust your girth into their throat while screaming "Aww, Fuck yeah cunt!".
by Pewgheypai October 25, 2014