Potato Relativity Theorem

In essence, we are all potatoes. No matter where you go, the distribution of potato level in people never changes. An above average potato will above average no matter where it goes and a below average potato will always be below average no matter where it goes.
Josh: Man, I feel like such a potato for making a B on that exam.
Larry: Dude, the next highest grade was a 53. What are you talking about?
Josh: Idk man sometimes I wonder if I would do better or worse at another school.
Sam: Nah man you'd do about the same. The potato relativity theorem says so.
by Yubashiri December 16, 2016
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Party Weirdness Theorem

The more seemingly inconvenient* the timing for a party, the weirder** things are going to get. This is due to the timing drawing out only the most dedicated party-goers, resulting in nothing short of debauchery worthy of the Shred Lord, Himself.

*There is no inconvenient timing.
**More absofuckingmazing.
By the Party Weirdness Theorem, Wine Wednesday was bound to be a success!
by Sir Alex of SLO March 17, 2013
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Douche Bagorean Theorem

two douchebags who want to get with the same girl at the same time. 1 douche bag+ 1 douche bag= no way in hell that they will get with her.
Douche 1: Do you see that chick right there?
Douche 2: Yeah man, im gonna make my move.
Douche 1: Fuck you, she's mine!
Girl: Are you two trying to figure out the Douche Bagorean Theorem again?
by D3ATHB1A2MER May 18, 2010
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Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem

(advert-manipulation); commonly found in modern advertising alluding to male worship of beer even superseding a "piece of pie" (vaginal orifice) OR, replacing the deity!

the concept of the ultimate form of worship being a beer and the "big game", as opposed to jettisoning of male DNA in the vaginal canal, i.e. -SUPREME POTENTATE!!

COME ON FOLKS!, BEER NOT THAT! GOOD!!

(NEVER MIND!! LETS' ALL GET 'SLOPPY' AND 'STUPID'!!)
how 'BOUT 'dose YANKEE fans??
big bull went to HELL!! for DARING to 'stink' on alcohol, via his Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

the 'girls' felt powerless, when confronting the Beer-as-'Jesus' Theorem!!

Beer-as-'Jesus' theorem unaccepted! in MY 'house of worship'!
by michael foolsley September 04, 2011
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Blue Orgy Theorem

(First off, the Blue Orgy Theorem is a tangent of the Bubble Theorem.)

When people get control over these Pink Bubbles (mentioned in Bubble Theorem) every human wants a perfect reality, so they make their own. When this happens, everybody is in their <i>own</i> reality; everybody is seperated from everybody else.

Eventually, these segregated peoples in their personalized dimensions will come to the realization that they yearn for <i>real</i> human contact and cannot deal with the fakeness that they have come to accept. As these dimensions come together, they interlink and form a massive web of the overlapping of everybody's personal dimensions. This is called The Blue Orgy, because when everybody finally meets with another REAL human being...they have a massive univeral ... you guessed it - ORGY.


The term Blue Orgy can also be used as a greeting, but the word "Blue" can also be replaced with any descriptive word (colors in particular). When a word that sounds similar to "orgy" is used before it, you can combine the words.
Ex: Orange Orgy = Orangy.

<a href="http://chir.ag/phernalia/name-that-color/"> EVERY COLOR EVER - CLICK HERE (not spyware)</a>
Jeff: Wazzup Blue Orgy?

Tyler: Not much Orangy. Did you finish that hw?

Jeff: No, it was Dfish on Fish dude!!!!!

Tyler: Haha that sucks. Chemistry can be as confusing as a Wheres Waldo Orgy, ya know?

Robert: WTF IS THE BLUE ORGY THEOREM?

Jeff: Its Dfish on Fish
by Dfish on Fish September 28, 2008
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Black President Theorem

After hearing 4 separate people complain about Barrack Obama in a day; all without it being relevant to the topic at hand, I decided to come up with a new theorem... I copied this idea from Mike Godwin and his "Godwin Law". Credited goes to him.
"As white peoples' discussions grow longer and more intense in complaining, the probability that Obama being blamed for their grievances approaches 1."
Me: "Well, looks like I'm going to get laid off next week."
White guy: " psh, you know whose fault it is?! It's Obama's fault! He's trying to take our guns away."
Me: "I don't see how this relates .."
White guy: " You know he's not even American!"
Me: "(To myself) Black President Theorem came up fast in this talk."
by T2o8 August 10, 2015
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The sociological rule that one person wearing a fedora in a larger group may be stylistically unique, but two or more people wearing a fedora in a larger group renders every person in that group a douchebag.
Check it out - another fedora. What a douchebag.

No, wait - if it was just that one dude it might be cool, but two of his bros are wearing them too. According to the Fedora Douchebag Threshold Theorem, all five of them are douchebags.
by CreditToJoe August 19, 2010
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