Recovering Guido

After many long, hard years of perfecting the legendary hairstyle with gallons of gel, consecutively tanning to reach expected standards, pumping iron until each chisel of every muscle visibly shows through your one-size-too-small-for-your-now-jacked-body ghinny tee, and, obviously, mastering the infamous fist pump so that each pump is in sync with the rhythm of the beats blasting through the walls of Sound Factory, you start to realize that you’re 28 years old and you’ve reached, exceeded and then over-exceeded any expectations that were put in front of you that day in high school when you decided to take on such an exuberating challenge and now you have nothing more to live for since you’ve devoted so much blood, sweat and tears into perfecting your distinguished way of life, so you opt for that other way of life that everyone else in the world has decided to choose.

Guido: Yo bro, im feelin good tonite bro. We gota juice up nice n get ta da club. Me n you, bro, wea gona bang mad bitches at the club, u kno wa im sayin?

Recovering Guido: I’m sorry, Tony. I can’t. I’ve been guido-free for 10 months now and my guidos anonymous leader says I’m doing real good. Sometimes I get the urge to buy more hair gel, but that’s not what’s affecting me the most. It’s when the beats start playing in my head over and over and all I want to do is pump my fucking fist so hard in the air. It’s so hard Tony. I’m learning to take deep breaths and breathe though, this normal way of life isn’t that bad after all. You should try it too.

Guido: Wack, bro.

by a lion. December 4, 2009

Guido Hatzis

Greek adonis/legend known for his ability to attract women and kickboxing ability. Has gained a cult following among the highly educated. See also "The besht."

Quote: "Where there's me, there's ladies."

by Miles November 25, 2003

Guilo

A slang term for a white guy

Hey guilo, maybe, we take a break.

by Bellensburg June 8, 2008

guido

The biggest embarrassment to all of New Jersey. Nobody likes them in the state, and wishes they would leave. Thinks they are the coolest, but really everyone just laughs at them.

Did you see those guidos on Jersey Shore? Why can't they just cease to exist?

by bbombers2 December 4, 2009

guido

a male of any age, distinctly characterized by his Italian or wannabe Italian descent. He will be the one with the hair spiked up to the ceiling with pointy sideburns. A guido will always have a tan, even in the winter. Guidos can be seen getting their eyebrows waxed and purchasing oversized valor suits and wife beaters at macys. They will commonyl use terms such as "bro (or brah), yo, nah, and other words that you be able to understand anyway because guidos are known to mumble. They drive their parents' BMWs witht he windows down, while balsting any kind of dance, techno, trance, or anything else on KTU.

Oh my God, i saw ther king of the guidos today. I swear his hair touvhed the ceiling.

by kelley olson April 18, 2006

guido

it is very hard to define a guido, but the archetype includes: an inordinate amount of hair gel, tight neon colored polo shirts (usually more than one) with the collars popped, and large designer sunglasses. this group is pretending to be of Italian decent if they aren't actually Italian. they enjoy things like lifting, being pussies and taunting without anything to back up their threats or taunts. The areas most densly populated with guidos are the Jersey Shore and parts of new york

that guy in "my new haircut" on youtube is the quintessential guido.

by hatethegamenottheplayer October 19, 2009

guido

The complete misrepresentation of anything remotely italian because italians, who are actually from europe, have class and do not concentrate their energies on date rape, frollicking, steroids, expensive material items that no one else would buy, cheap girls (who share the same, uncanny resemblance), work construction (which anyone can do), the stupid blowout hear that makes them ALL look related (which may be taken into account due to their lack of intellect), frequenting clubs in NJ, NY, etc on a nightly basis, investing in working out and continuing to dress in those work-out clothes daily, wearing make-up that make them look like dead crack whores, fake tans that make them orange (if one dyes their hair green they will be less respectable umpa lumpas) and egotistical maniacs to the point where ALL of them should be sterilized to prevent further cultural contamination.

Who's the douche who looks like they stood in front of an industrial fan for too long?
That's an unecessary element of society, a guido.

Holy crap! How do I get rid of that guido?
An irish curb stomp usually clears those parasites out of the area.

by (/Leprechaun/) January 25, 2008