Raccoon Jeezus

He died in a trash can only to be resurrected days later he commands all Raccoons and has unlimited n word passes

You going to coon church this weekend? “Hell yeah gotta praise my boy Raccoon Jeezus.”

by CoonCommander April 11, 2019

Afternoon Raccoon

Someone that misses most if not all of the morning, and wake up in or close to the afternoon. They like to get into the swing of things after the noisy hustle and bustle of the mornings. Jumping into action well after the early birds. Afternoon Raccoons also love to sleep. This person doesn't consider themselves an early bird or a night owl. But they can choose to be more that one. For example, they feel like an afternoon raccoon and a night owl.

I'm not an "Early Bird" and I'm not a "Night Owl", Im more of an "Afternoon Raccoon."

by Sleeps with rose petals August 2, 2017

Raccoon playhouse

The act of applying vast amounts of anal stretching cream to your rectum and allowing multiple raccoons climb inside

That strange old guy from next door was creating a raccoon playhouse in his backyard

by BootyHoleBandit69 January 2, 2023

Raccoon Tailing

A game where two people excrete a turd but force their sphincter to halt the expulsion of the turd mid-way, and proceed to sword fight with said excretory rods. The objective of the game is to knock the turd off the opponents' asshole.

Brad: Yo, I found a turd in the shower this morning. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Chad: Yo, my bad. Thad and I were fucked up and started raccoon tailing last night.

by partisanwarrior97 April 29, 2019

raccoon

Someone who likes to hop in and go through bins to find food scraps and other waste items. They have beady eyes which glow in the dark.

Friend 1 - "Briggatoni is such a raccoon. I caught him raiding my bin last night. He took off with some Emu Export cans"

Friend 2 - "At least he didn't steal your doormat"

by smash*star March 14, 2011

Wet Raccoon

A wet raccoon is a tradition handed down throughout the generations as the act of clapping your ass-cheeks together on someones nose.
This is generally used with force, unless the victim is passed out.

Variation - Brown clown nose: If you want to go all-out, you can push a little and leave a lump of crap on the idiots nose. Resembling a fake clown nose.
but made out of crap.

Jerry was being a fag so Tom got his friends to hold Jerry down while he gave him a wet raccoon.

man 1: "Hey buddy, that was one nice wet raccoon you gave the drunk guy last night!"
man 2: "He has yet to discover the shit-stain on his nose. And i feel much better about myself inside!"

by Robrobrockstar February 7, 2006

punch the raccoon

An action that, by virtue of its very recklessness, ensures success.

"Taryn's idea is drastic, but if the client buys it we'll really punch the raccoon."

by ignition_b June 4, 2012