North Florida Moody Bear

Not to be confused with any bears of the genus ursa. This borderline mythical creature has been known to haunt the isles of Trader Joes and other locations where overpriced groceries are sold to wealthy suburban whites. The North Florida Moody Bear is known for it's grooming behaviors including, but not limited to, its proclivity to spend excessive time in the bathroom to ensure it's hair is immaculate. This is a highly social organism that is known to be extremely social, frequently they can be seen flirting with human females. While they often appear quite tame, domesticated even, don't let your guard down as they will respond violently to anything that causes messes in their natural habitat. They have bizarre sleeping habits that result in often trying to sleep however very rarely actually succumbing to slumber. This species becomes most aggressive when awaken from its slumbers so it is advisable to never slam doors in it's presence. This is an anomalous organism that has left biologist dumbfounded as it is sustained entirely by la croix, and frequently goes months without consuming anything else.

Did you hear about jim?
No, what happened?
He died, he slammed a door outside of a North Florida Moody Bears bedroom.

by Survived a moody bear attack May 31, 2018

Goodland Florida

Goodland is a small drinking village with a fishing problem. It is located in the depths of the Florida Everglades. Marco Island is located a bout a mile away, and Marco residents go to Goodland to get hammered at Stan's Bar or to buy meth.

"Hey I'm running out of meth and need to replace my MAGA hat! What do I do?"

"Have no fear lets just go to Goodland Florida!"

by dbetten7 December 24, 2020

Florida

The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton's 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word "orange" in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean "a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting." Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.

-"Florida's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-"Bah! Go back to New York, you snowbird."

by penguinatrix August 15, 2004

Florida

Pretty good place. Except for the fact that the whole 'sunshine state' thing is wrong. In the tampa area(where I live), it rains almost every day for at least 30 minutes in the summer. And the storms can be violent. (And the weather in Tampa doesn't define the weather of the whole state) But when it's not raining it's pretty nice. Everyone thinks that it's really hot, it is, but it's not near as humid as Georgia(my home state) and there's always a slight breeze. There are a lot of palm trees and really great beahes everywhere. A lot of wide open fields with huge neighborhoods packed between them where the houses are 5 feet apart. Many atractions like Busch Gardens, Disney World... etc. Old people retire here. And the beaches are the best to people-watch at. Overall it's okay. Every state has its goods and its bads, so you can't stereotype them by just a few factors. If you wanna know more about Florida, stop reading urban dictionary and visit.

Florida is the southern-most state in the U.S

by IINNGG August 14, 2010

Florida

Florida: God's waiting room.

Florida is where old people move to, drive like Mr. Magoo, then die.

by Overdrive December 28, 2005

florida bath

1. swimming in the pool instead of taking a shower and considering this bathing
2. used as an excuse for not taking a bath/shower, because you had a chlorinated water encounter in the last 24 hours

Husband: "Honey, do we need to give the kids a bath tonight?"
Wife: "No, they had a Florida bath today at the neighborhood pool."

by Kevin Haas January 9, 2009

Florida Christian School (FCS)

Welcome to Florida Christian School! We are non-denominational affiliated school, yet we are condescending of the Catholic church and our entire staff is Southern Baptist. Don't be fooled, we will some how take your money, one way or another. From forcing your children to walk miles in a Walk-a-thon, to, having hundreds of "No uniform days". Think we will put the money back in the school by upgrading it? You will start seeing updates about 10 years after fund raising with low quality construction and paint. Our priority is to teach the world using the Bible. By saying this, this means that if your child doesn't pass Bible class, they can not graduate from Florida Christian School. Most students who graduate, end up going to Miami-Dade, or other unknown "colleges". Every year we raise the price of tuition, but do not worry, if your family goes to the same church as Dr. Andrew, your child will be able to go to the school with no tuition fees; because people who actually pay, are paying for your child as well. Not all teachers have teaching degrees. There is a total of 4 electives to take, and low quality teaching. The children of teachers are treated as gold and get to go to the front of the lunch line while other student, who pay, have to wait in the heat to eat the low quality, D rated, cafeteria food.
I hear by oath that this information is true, as I attended this school for 10 years. Luckily, I did not graduate from here.

Student 1: "So what was for lunch?"

Student 2: "Why do you ask, its the same thing everyday"

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Teacher: "The catholic church is going to hell because they added books to the bible."

Student: "Actually sir, the Baptist church was the one that took out books from the bible, because the Catholic church was the first church.."

Teacher: "get out of my classroom"
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^^^^ that actually happened to me at Florida Christian School (FCS)

by Alumni Student February 21, 2011