crunch monkey

Someone who eats like an animal. They chew with their mouth open, crunch loudly, talk with their mouth open, and are completely oblivious that they do it.
Mike: Dude...Jen is such a crunch monkey.
Bob: I can even see what she ate for breakfast!
by Mikizzle April 19, 2006
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blunder crunching

Combination of "blunder" and "number crunching," describing the exasperating experience of trying to figure out which supermarket item is giving you more for your money on a dollar per ounce basis.

A lot of times these days supermarkets will break down the cost per ounce right on the face of the shelf price tag. However, sometimes you find yourself blundering through basic algebra, trying your best to hold your own. Forget about it if you're trying to convert between grams and ounces: you're just done, and you'll make your decision on some other factor.

If you have your phone with you, you can use the calculator function to avoid blunder crunching. In no case, however, must you mumble to yourself out loud as you try to do the calculations.
Don't be the guy mumbling to himself while trying to decide between Starkist tuna or the store brand. Keep your blunder crunching as private as possible.
by Ae5Ea8 April 06, 2015
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Sloppy crunch

DJ loves to use KFC drumsticks in girls as sex toys so he can enjoy their sloppy crunch.
by Kara Rauman September 23, 2009
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Smuckernut Crunch

A deadly triple threat of peanut butter and jelly on a crunchy granola bar. More specifically, skippy, smucker's, and nature valley.
A: dude, are you in the mood for a smuckernut crunch ?
B: hell yea mann. so clutch.
by smuckernut July 21, 2010
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Double Crunch

A Double Crunch is when you suck dick on a beach and he has a sandy penis but you’re no quitter
1. Samantha : I was sucking his dick at the beach and it was too sandy.

Chole : did you quit ?
Samantha : I double crunched that dick , i ain’t no quitter
by UrMumInMyBed July 15, 2018
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walnut crunch

The act of covering a giant brown turd in cum
OH DUDE!!! u just made a walnut crunch on the couch! NASTY!
by jasowat January 25, 2007
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Crunch Snap

A term you use in a poetry class
by loljazzi February 05, 2020
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