cock clock

The act of smacking someone over the backof the head with ur erect penis

you just got cock clocked
HAHA

by oquhf0weoin December 29, 2007

Missouri alarm clock

The act of taking ones penis and smacking someone in the forehead until they wake up.

I told Dave I would give him a Missouri alarm clock at about 7am.

by angela75 April 6, 2010

Show Up, Shut Down, Clock In and Check Out.

This phenomenon describes how some people react to undesirable and uninspiring work situations. This phenomenon is mainly applicable to people working boring, mindless jobs, most of whom perform rote work -- e.g., data entry -- or are paid simply simply for their presence -- e.g., a booth attendant. Activities that constitute 'shutting down' and checking out' include: napping, reading, sending excessive/unnecessary text messages, and listening to one's iPod.

Elliott: I'm surprised Tom hasn't gotten more sleep today -- doesn't he have to work the graveyard shift tonight?
Mark: Yeah, but remember, he's a booth attendant in the middle of the night...he's just going to Show up, Shut down, Clock in and Check out.

by paradigms October 23, 2009

Dutch Alarm Clock

1. Being woken up by your girlfriend as she is giving you a blow job.

I awoke with the hot, wet sensation of my girlfriends mouth on my boner. She was giving me a dutch alarm clock.

by Xeneric December 30, 2010

twelve o'clock flasher

A person with no idea how to use any kind of technology. The joke is, all digital clocks, stereos, DVD players, VCRs and so on have their displays flashing 0:00 or 12:00 (twelve o'clock) because the person in question has no idea how to set the time, let alone use any other function offered.

{When standing behind someone at an ATM for a very long time} - What is taking him so long? He must be a twelve o'clock flasher..

I knew i was dealing with a twelve o'clock flasher when she put the CD in data side up.

Can you believe it?! He was trying to use his DVD-ROM to read a floppy! Bloody twelve o'clock flashers!

by Dass Booty October 27, 2003

clockweasel

In chess and other timed games, to 'clockweasel' is to hang on with an otherwise lame game in hope that the opponent's clock will expire and give you an ignoble victory. Common techniques of clockweaseling in chess include deliberately sacrificing pieces to cause the opponent to consume precious time in the sheer biomechanics of picking up your pieces.

Varoudi clockweaseled Kjerdorf out of a brilliant game at Weatherstone's. Varoudi started sacking with ten seconds left on Kjerdorf's clock and Kjerdorf fell for it.

by Mo Dixley September 2, 2005

blowjob alarm clock

when you wake up to someone (preferrably a woman) with your dick in their mouth performing fellatio.

wow im gonna have a great day! why? because i got a blowjob alarm clock.

by The Red Hat Kid September 8, 2006