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The Waffle House Theory

In order to go to Waffle House after midnight, it must be earned. To earn it, you must be drunk and have been partying, or working the night shift.
by Theoryqueen September 17, 2017
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Hoop earring theory

Specifically, some women wear specific-sized hoop earrings to represent the girth and thickness of their man’s cock.
“She was at the club wearing these 4 inch hoops. You know hoop earring theory: that’s the thickness of her man.”
by Linewyorkguy May 19, 2025
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Nose Ring Theory

The theory that a woman with a nose ring (particularly a septum piercing) creates and often has a personally defined by personal trauma, a need to prove she's "authentic", disagreeableness, and far leftism. Often masculine men perceive these women as something to avoid.
Man 1: Hey bro, that girl over there is pretty cute. Should I show her the rizz?

Man 2: Keep walking bud! Have you heard of nose ring theory? She looks like the prize bull at the county fair.
by Obeflow August 27, 2025
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Dual Gene Theory

Again... If THIS ☝️has been what's happening... And society is collapsing or deteriorating... Then how can you make the claim that the best genes are reproducing?
Hym "Dual gene theory? Jesus Christ... 🤦 ♂️ No. 'The best genes' is clearly just a euphemism for 'fat cock'. Really. It's just... It's getting pathetic at this point. 'Women are trying to find the most competent man' or 'Women are looking for the best genes' give me a break. They want free money so that WORK is optional and to fund whatever enterprise they want to engage in. And they want a fat cock. In their pussy. But not ALL the time. Cervical orgasm wears off after a while, remember? No Cervical orgasm and what are you left with? Just the piece of shit useless retard. Like the cripple! Or Tyrone!"
by Hym Iam April 24, 2023
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Thanatos theory

The Earth is small. Our bodies and vision are smaller. Every second the universe expands and creates new stars, new galaxies, new planets, and new solar systems. With us sharing the same time and space with the universe we are one and connected. Ever since the the supernova that created our solar system and most of the elements that created our periodic table and that includes the elements that create our body. In short we are created by the fragments of a star. As our body ages throughout our lives we grow weaker and weaker. But, the universe is forever expanding. Expanding into what? Well we will never know the true answers to the universe. If the universe is what holds all of creation and all of space and time what is the universe expanding into. The best possible guess is, nothingness. The universe is expanding into a vast empty space of nothingness, no age, no color, no dark, no light. IF we were able to cross the border between space and nothingness what would happen. There are two (probably more) possible outcomes.

1. We cease of age , since we are no longer connected to the space and time of our universe we are nothing and cease of age and pain.
2. We cease to exist, when your are across the border of our universe and nothingness, since the existence of nothingness is there we escape our own existence as well. Your body, and even your own soul will cease to ever exist.

The thought of nothingness.
The thought of nothingness and the Thanatos Theory
by theregoesthanatos November 11, 2020
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<.7.9.7.6.>Blossom: THe Stroot Boot Theory<.7.9.7.6.>
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Centene Time Warp Theory(CTWT)

Centene Time Warp Theory, or CTWT, is the phenomenon experienced by company employees that proposes that time is not as it is perceived it to be, i.e, minute for minute and second for second as expected. It is in fact a far higher ratio that isn't known until a work week is complete. There is no known formula to calculate this ratio prior to the end of a scheduled shift and is to this point, only a feeling experienced by those exposed. Any one person may have a different feeling that is dependent on their level of exposure.

There is currently no known cure for CTW sickness other than rest and time away from your job.
Pauly had a long week at work. He told Larry and Freddy that he was happy the week was over.

Pauly: Man I'm glad this week is over.

Freddy: Pauly, it's only Monday afternoon.

Pauly: No way, it feels like it's been a week already.

Larry: Pauly, let me educate you on Centene Time Warp Theory(CTWT). It makes you feel like you've worked an exponentially higher number of hours in a short period of time.
by LabwarzLarry February 1, 2023
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