wank widow

A woman whose husband no longer finds her sexually attractive, no longer desires to sleep with her and instead spends his free time whacking off to porn.
Jill: Kelly always seems so unhappy anymore. What's going on with her?

Jane: That poor girl's a wank widow. Bob never gives her any attention anymore. Spends all his time on the computer.
by I'm Pseudonym February 12, 2011
Get the wank widow mug.

Armageddon Wank

n: the act of masturbating with a level of enthusiasm and vigour that one can only achieve with the knowledge of the impending end of the world.
Craig sat quietly in the room while his undead friends and family members scratches at the door and the last of the battery power drained from the torch. "Fuck it!" Said Craig, "I'm busting out an Armageddon Wank before they break in."
by Brett Mandrake February 19, 2014
Get the Armageddon Wank mug.

choke wank

Wanking while choking yourself, being choked by someone else while you wank or being choked by someone else while they wank you
Im going to have the best choke wank tonight
by shukkka November 17, 2016
Get the choke wank mug.

Essex wank

Sitting at the toilet and having a shit, then in the same toilet sesh you have a wank
Dirty cunts been on the toilet for ages, bet he's having an Essex wank
by kirn October 22, 2017
Get the Essex wank mug.

Bridge Wank

The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.
"Dude I just caught my son bridge wanking in his room."
by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017
Get the Bridge Wank mug.

Cave Wank

The act of gently inserting a fist into a woman's uterus, followed by his penis and masturbates while his fist is inside of the uterus.
"Dude, my girlfriend is so dirty I cave wanked the fucked out of her last night"
by hellotosis August 28, 2018
Get the Cave Wank mug.

Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.
Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.
by This_guy0885 November 02, 2023
Get the Hate wank mug.