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The M Theory

Potential partners who have a name starting with the letter “M” are likely to to be attractive, funny, and kind. Current science is limited but it’s believed they have an enzyme that is generated in their system that called the builtdifferentezine that allows for this condition to take shape. It’s often suggested one pursues a date of some kind or the contact information of an “M” specimen to further investigate this unusual condition.
Oh his name is Marcelese? Here’s my number, give it to him and tell him I want to grab coffee sometime! I need to test the M Theory
by BLACK-MAN December 24, 2020
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Septum Ring Theory

Septum Ring Theory is a vague insult typically used against people with septum rings on social media platforms like TikTok. There's no concrete definition, but you know it when you see it. Septum Ring Theory is characterized by the following qualities.

• Septum Piercing (Obviously, and other present piercings in a given example strengthens the theory & insult's effect)
• Dyed Hair (Typically bright, attention hungry colors)
• Heavily left-leaning/liberal ideology
• Misandry
• Inflated sense of self importance/ego
• Inability to take accountability
• Tattoos (Not a requirement, but often found alongside the other indicators)

The purpose of the insult is to make the target angry. Responses to being told they fit the definition of septum piercing theory typically revolve around virginity or baselessly insinuating that the person receiving the insult is attractive to the person delivering it (this is the aforementioned inflated sense of self importance/ego showing itself in full.) These people will also lump you into a nebulous group of conservative boogeymen, which is where the political angle comes in despite the comment itself having nothing to do with politics. These replies are exactly what is expected though, and only help to further prove the Septum Ring Theory.

In short, Septum Piercing Theory is a comment that's designed to knock a very specific set of chronically online losers down a peg, and it usually works to great effect, almost like a cheat code.
Person A (with septum piercing): Men don't deserve rights/are trash/should be killed, etc, etc.

Person B (Usually a faceless account in Person A's comment section): Septum Ring Theory still undefeated.

Person A (in a video response to the comment): Spoken from a man who's never had his face in between a woman's legs. (They think they ate with this 🤭)
by The Masterful Baiter September 15, 2025
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Burner account theory

The theory that people who post their true opinions on burner accounts are too scared to have their main account and theirself associated with said opinions
user639519562549: The holocaust was deserved, save evropa!

JohnJorker27: Burner account theory
by DonkDonkBaDobk September 21, 2025
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Subjective Assignment Theory

The theory that states that any subjective assignment (such as a book review) can be done without knowing what you are talking about (like writing a book review without reading the book).
Person 1: "Did you read the book and write the review?"

Person 2: "Nah. I'm not going to read the book; I'm just going to use Subjective Assignment Theory."
by bodfibodgjioqja November 18, 2011
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Raymond’s Theory

Raymond’s theory proposes the idea that in some instances a coincidence is in fact a coincidence but rather the result of subliminal messaging by advanced media intelligence.

The idea is that something provokes thoughts about a topic on a subliminal level. The target is unaware that the initial stimuli triggers a chain reaction of connections that ultimately lead to a final destination which is often what the stimuli is trying to promote.

This theory is often confused with the Bavarian Conundrum theorized by Howard Rein, however that principle is actually an inverse examination of Raymond’s Theory, and Dr. Raymond Cism has criticized the Rein’s thinking stating that it is too rhetorical to be properly thought of as a legitimate theory.
“I just had a crazy coincidence happen.”
Are you sure that wasn’t just the effect of Raymond’s Theory?”
by anonymous September 8, 2025
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Dog Engagement Theory

The system of ideas behind dog engagement theory suggests that there is a net positive benefit from interacting with others as if they were dogs. From playful banter to teasing and trolling, the behaviors that bring about joy in dogs will also bring about joy in fellow humans - especially romantic partners. This stems from the belief that most take life too seriously and do not wish to risk awkward moments in pursuit of genuine and fun interactions. Those who subscribe to dog engagement theory are viewed as comedic and charismatic socializers in any setting and can turn any gathering into an enjoyable hangout.
Amanda: “You guys should invite Matt to the party! He’s such a funny guy.”

Steve: “Yea sure, but am I not funny too?”

Amanda: “Kind of. But Matt is just so charismatic and playful. I think he follows dog engagement theory so that’s why he’s better.”

Steve: “I don’t think I can compete with him then.”

Amanda: “You’re right Steve. I think we should both see other men.”
by scarlet_alliance February 25, 2024
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The Austin Bock Theory

When no one actually likes a person but only stays friends or befriends them because they think everyone else likes them, when in reality no one likes them.
Adjective
“No one actually likes Austin , he’s a narcissistic, selfish, self centred, so far up his own ass dickhead who thinks he’s so important, the only reason people are friends with him is because they think everyone else likes him, it’s the Austin Bock theory!” It means he needs to be humbled because no one likes him
by Heidi😭 January 3, 2024
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