Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.

Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.

by This_guy0885 November 2, 2023

Wank metal

A person or group of highly technical metal musicians who wank over the speed and technicality of their music but nobody else cares. Typically those djent musicians who post videos of them playing highly technical guitar pieces from their moms basement.

"Here's my new guitar play-through guys, look how big my dick is! please excuse my sloppyness hehe"
"Oh another wank metal video "

by wank metal April 17, 2019

Armageddon Wank

n: the act of masturbating with a level of enthusiasm and vigour that one can only achieve with the knowledge of the impending end of the world.

Craig sat quietly in the room while his undead friends and family members scratches at the door and the last of the battery power drained from the torch. "Fuck it!" Said Craig, "I'm busting out an Armageddon Wank before they break in."

by Brett Mandrake February 22, 2014

Wank Blank

When you leave someone on read on blank them, simply because you are wanking/jacking yourself off

Dude Sarah just Wank Blanked me

by Creator of The Dictionary December 8, 2019

Wank Bandit

The act of sneaking into your neighbours house, connecting to and watching some porn on their own wifi until you ejaculate on a random thing in their home e.g. bed, sink, kettle etc. and go home like nothing happened.

This can also be done in schools, shops or other public venues.

Keith - “I left our neighbour Eugene a little present inside the dishwasher!”
Fredrick - “Dude that’s nuts”
Keith - “I know but not the kinda of nuts your thinking of, I pulled a wank bandit on him”
Fredrick - ...
Keith - “I also brutally slaughtered his wife and children”
Fredrick - “Nice”

by WalnutPaste April 20, 2020

Safety Wank

The act of masturbation prior to a sexual encounter, used to prolong intercourse.

Person 1: "Brooooo, I'm hooking up with Amy tonight!"
Person 2: "Oh nice dude, she's so hot!"
Person 1: "Tell me about it, I'm going to need a quick safety wank before going to her place."

by BicBoi4000 August 27, 2021

Cave Wank

The act of gently inserting a fist into a woman's uterus, followed by his penis and masturbates while his fist is inside of the uterus.

"Dude, my girlfriend is so dirty I cave wanked the fucked out of her last night"

by hellotosis August 28, 2018