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Soccer Mom Photographer
The slippery slope of becoming a wannabe "Pro Photographer" that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.
With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.
Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.
Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.
1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.
2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.
3.) Uses pirated photoshop.
4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.
Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.
Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.
1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.
2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.
3.) Uses pirated photoshop.
4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
How was your session? I forgot all of my equipment at the studio so I just soccer mom'd it.
Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.
Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.
Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
Soccer Mom Photographer by stinkbuttboy February 17, 2010
ur mom gay
jake: you suck at m i n e c r a f t
jack: no u
jake: ur mom gay
jack: *ruptures brain and fucking dies*
jack: no u
jake: ur mom gay
jack: *ruptures brain and fucking dies*
ur mom gay by iiJason124 July 14, 2018
soccer mom
Middle to upper class white 30 to 45 year old moms that think every friggin thing is violent, except for their perfect little brats that they call children and their mini vans/elephant sized SUV's that use more gas than a plane going to Australia. Most of them are mind drones to their husbands who are the only provider of money seeing as none of them have jobs. They carry 100$ coffe, and a cell phone with them everywhere. And most of the time their vocal chords hurt from screaming their kids name at his or her soccer/baseball game 24/7. They want to censor everything that isn's christian, because its "evil." and feel only G rated movies and E rated video games are suitable for their bratty as hell kids. One of the most ignorant people around, because they think anything that isn't christian, white, and swear and or violence free is damed to hell.
"that soccer mom just cut me off in her gianst SUV cause she's late for her brat's soccer game, now i have a fender bender that she blamed on me"
soccer mom by questionmarkc October 6, 2005
I fucked your mom
Our childhood was the best time of my life and I loved every minute spent with you and our jokes meant the world to me and I wish i never forgot you and I wish we had more time together now that I finally got you back in my life
I fucked your mom by I love reddie September 25, 2019