another word for the Holy Trinity(the father,son,and holy spirit) when reffering to Roman Catholic belif.
Jimmy: What's your stand on Christianity?
Paul: I believe in the Jesus Triphecta shit, but I think the rest is pure bullshit.
Paul: I believe in the Jesus Triphecta shit, but I think the rest is pure bullshit.
by Mario B. April 28, 2008
Get the the Jesus Triphecta mug.by Ingoe March 3, 2009
Get the Jesus Sniper mug.One of the greatest pranks of this Common Era, begotten by our Savior himself.
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
John 8:12
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
by chazmatazz February 17, 2009
Get the Jesus prank mug.A term used to describe the divinity of Joe Mauer, the greatest baseball player, Minnesota Twin, and Minnesotan to ever grace this land.
by Punto4President April 14, 2010
Get the Baby Jesus mug.The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.
Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.
Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!
Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!
Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!
Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!
by Kronl January 5, 2023
Get the Jetbridge Jesus mug.When someone is smoking a ciggarete, and you ask for twos or last drags, they offer you jesus drags. Jesus did not smoke, so they mean they will not save you any.
by hateallblacks July 4, 2009
Get the Jesus Drags mug.The traditional western image of Jesus which depicts Him as a white dude with long hair and a gnarly beard. Totally looks like the surf bum at your local beach. Or homeless.
by homieijustfuckedyomomma May 17, 2018
Get the Surfer Jesus mug.