Skip to main content

The mushroom theory of management

An old, time-honored management technique in large corporations.

1. Keep your employees in the dark.
2. Feed them shit.
3. When they grow up, cut them off at the roots.
The CEO of XYZ Corp is a big believer in the mushroom theory of management.
by Hot Licks July 21, 2020
mugGet the The mushroom theory of managementmug.

Critical fat-cock theory

This only thing you WON'T steal and promulgate.
Hym "Nobody else thinks that's weird? They'll steal EVERYTHING BUT critical fat-cock theory! That isn't weird to anyone else? God, I think it's weird. Don't you? Critical fat-cock theory! The ultimate theory! So profound it terrifies scholars and charlatans alike."
by Hym Iam April 22, 2024
mugGet the Critical fat-cock theorymug.

Dipshit Theory

Refers to observation that where one dipshit goes others will follow. Akin to mass think theory.
I witnessed dipshit theory in action last night at the soc hop wendy.

Youre just jealous!

I saw you looking at him!

Oh, greg...you are despicable!
by ESPeciallyscientific April 18, 2018
mugGet the Dipshit Theorymug.

The John D. Theory

Any object, substance, or person has been created or built by a man/woman named John/Joan D. Whatever they created takes the place of their last name.
The John D. Theory is as follows: John D. Earth, also known as God, created the Earth.
by Kyle Ninneman February 28, 2020
mugGet the The John D. Theorymug.

Critical Booty Theory

An analytical framework first proposed by Sir Mix-a-lot postulating that all social institutions, laws, and mores are rooted in a reverence for booty.
Democrats and Republicans came together to recognize the importance of Critical Booty Theory as a framework for legislative decision making and adjudication in the legal system.
by Quan Master Quan July 12, 2021
mugGet the Critical Booty Theorymug.

The Tenlee Theory

The tenlee theory, is the theory in which guys with thick necks just happen to have small and skinny penises.
That guy has a thick neck” “yk what that means……the tenlee theory”
by 62771818884 April 11, 2022
mugGet the The Tenlee Theorymug.

Shit Sandwich Theory

A simple thought experiment to explain the process behind the electoral college

You and two friends decide to go out to eat for lunch, only one of you brought a card so you all agree to venmo the one who brought it after you eat as none of you brought any cash either.

You want to get some pizza, and your two friends want to eat human shit sandwiches, you decide to put it to a democratic vote because that’s obviously the most fair right?

You obviously lose and you have to eat the shit sandwich, sucks doesn’t it?

How could this have been avoided?

Simple, you make your vote worth 2, this forces an even tie and forces the shit sandwich twins (you should probably stop hanging out with them btw) to compromise, you all end up agreeing on burgers and you eat in relative peace

Now apply this logic to the electoral college, and you understand why the Montana Wheat farmer or the Wyoming cattle rancher’s state gets to have as much of a say as California or New York
Statement:“Land doesn’t vote, people do”

Retort: “Shit sandwich theory”
by Cockyrooster1135 June 19, 2022
mugGet the Shit Sandwich Theorymug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email