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Batman Shirt Theory

Description

Any person who is seen wearing a batman shirt in the public setting has a tendency to be automatically perceived as a threat by mentally ill persons, specifically those with a co-morbid diagnoses of schizophrenia, paranoid type, and psychopathy.

Joker-perpetrator

The joker has paranoid delusions rooted around the thought that the person wearing the batman shirt is some morally authoritative figure trying to restrict the joker's rights for the purpose of maintaining justice. The joker has a natural tendency towards attention seeking behaviors, impulsivity, and sadism.

The Hero-batman fan

Realistically, the hero is more often than not a passive idealist with fantasies of being this "morally authoritative figure" or hero. These beliefs tend to escalate to the extent of grandiose delusions, specifically during times of increased stress. Such persons experience a significant tendency towards being involved with conflict, especially with the joker and personalities alike.

Batman/Joker Conflict

The hero and the joker experience severe emotional and psychological restlessness, arising from their different attitudes. The hero favors fairness and stability whereas the joker prefers selfish gratification and chaos. The grandiose delusions of the hero and the paranoid delusions of the joker conflict with each other, resulting in escalating conflict all influenced by a simple shirt.
Batman Shirt Theory Example:

A. The hero with the batman shirt experiences grandiose delusions that he is obligated to solve every conflict in order to promote fairness and justice.

B. The joker sees the batman shirt and experiences paranoid delusions of oppression that restricts his individuality.

C. I may be delusional for making a case out of this. Point is, you can rationalize anything...
by lhukmai October 20, 2012
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Rhinebaque Theory

Rhinebaque Theory is an ancient mythical legend, carved in the stones and passed down from man to man. It is the ultimate truth about women. In essence, Rhinebaque theory suggests that if you have a female friend, and she gives you a lolipop, she suboncsiously is thinking that she wants to give you a blowjob. It does not matter what age or race, if you are given a lolipop by a girl, she wants the cock.
"Here George, take my lolipop, I hope you enjoy it!"

"Why thankyou Alex, this Lolipop looks scumptious"

3 days later

"Ohhh Alex, yes BAABBEY!"
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As you can see, Rhinebaque Theory is true
by TheCrackWhore September 3, 2012
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Theory of Offsetting Mistakes

This theory recognizes that humans are not perfect and that for every mistake in a model or schedule
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.
Accountant 1: oh, crap... we forgot to add $1 million in income from product X sales to the budget
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.

Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.
by Tim E Wastin August 26, 2013
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The Branard Theory

The probability of beating someone in a fight is equal to 0.5, ±(The difference in height between you and your opponent)*0.1, regardless of physical ability.
In layman's terms, if you are taller than someone, you can beat them in a fight. A fact known by all tall men, and a fact discredited by all short men.
Well my 5'11" friend, since I am 6'3", I could definitely kick your ass... That's The Branard Theory for ya!
by omg_penguin September 3, 2013
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Knuckle Theory

A theory used by measuring the number of days in a month. If your index finger touches your knuckle of your hands, the month has 31 days, while if you touch the skin of your fist, it has 30 (with the exception of February).
Scott: Dude, how many days are there in August?

Dave: 31.

Scott: Isn't it 30?

Dave: Use the Knuckle Theory.
by OpeN333 October 22, 2013
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Gateway Artist Theory

The Gateway Artist Theory is the theory that the association or listening to of the less deleterious musical artist may lead to the listening of musical artists with a greater magnitude of lack of substance or quality. It is often attributed to the listening to of Kid Cudi,

Gateway Artist: An artist that encourages the common person to participate in drug usage and who leads to other artists that write lyrics about going harder and using harder drugs.
Example of the Gateway Artist Theory:
- Person 1: Ayeee! Let's get faded and zone to some cudi.
- Person 2: fuck Dat. Taylor gang errday. I only smoke papers now and i gotta save my good weed so wiz can get at that good fan weed.
by mertz man April 9, 2012
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Bam Theory

When you think of something that in theory should work, but that is not practical.
Just heat up the shaft, take a punch, hit it with a hammer and bam it'll come out of the hole. (It is not practical because everything is covered in rust and has been stuck for 20 years.) Bam Theory. The difference between an engineer and a fabricator.
by bam theorist. May 2, 2012
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