Jacob

A loser bum, he hates short people and has four eyes (not glasses). he tries to hit on women but fails because all he flexes is his fathers money so as a result he turned gay and is married to a white boy, blond hair, bum kid (short for band kid) named Sexter Isinme. He transitioned so that he can feel the pain of Sexter's dih. He played undertale and couldn't beat sans because his fingers kept getting stuck on the keyboard from the guava monster he spilt earlier. by the way, have you ever had a guava monster? that shit is so ass bro it doesn't even taste like guava! It tastes like sugar!! Have you ever had it? Have you? Do you even know what guava is? It’s a fruit! he HATES "To Pimp A Butterfly"

Women1 : "Stop talking to me Jacob"

by theREALJajob July 29, 2025

Jacob

Jacob is occasionally really good at basketball. Sometimes he loses 1-1, but he tries his hardest. He loves McFlurries and playing the guitar. He is a really sweet guy, but he makes you watch Terrifier 3. He plays Clash Royale in every class when he actually goes, but his grades look good still. He is NOT short and has brown fluffy hair. He will guess your eye color correctly when you ask and will take you to Texas Roadhouse, but he will eat all the rolls. Anyway, Jacob is a cutie, dont read the other reviews I like mine.

Jacob is THE guy.

by YOURbigbackMOTHER October 21, 2025

Jacob

A bowling ball who sits on the toilet for many hours

Jacob Loves sitting on the toilet and call it his second home

by Ghostface152 November 24, 2025

Jacob

Two-faced like a Poundland Batman villain and folds faster than a Primark deckchair after two drinks. Cannot handle booze, cannot handle drugs, cannot even handle himself — but will still swear blind he’s “fine” while single-handedly ruining the vibe like it’s his full-time job.
Tragically, beneath all the chaos, there’s actually a decent lad buried somewhere… but he’s held hostage by Drunk Goblin Jacob.

“Whose idea was it to let Jacob drink again? I’m not paying for another fire extinguisher.”

by Sheknows123117 November 25, 2025

Jacob

A 33 year old virgin who loves gilfs

I better hurry before Jacob goes to work

by Jacobslover69 November 29, 2025

Jacob

The most down to earth real person you’ll ever meet. You’ll think everyone is jaded until you meet him. He holds his values close to his heart and is unwavering. All he wants is to be loved and to share a life with someone he loves just as much. He is wholesome, sensitive, ADHD, and has his special/manic moments sometimes hahaha but he is also everything and more and I love his sexy ass

Jacobs are the best

by Putalittleloveinurheart November 30, 2025

Jacob

He is the sweetest, most caring man. I had a crush on him before I even met him but once I met him, his heart came through even more than his handsome face.
He is extreeeeemely intelligent and basically a walking encyclopedia.
But what stands out the most about him is how kind he is. He loves to tend to his plants, and deeply cares about everyone around him. He truly wants to see people thrive.
Jacob is the reason I've learned to love again , and I will forever cherish that, he has healed my heart.

Hey, you know Jacob? He is such a saint!

by camiii1 December 10, 2025