two joints stoned

Two joints stoned is when you quite stoned but theres definitely room for more weed

Man 1: you look stoned
Man 2: ye man but im only two joints stoned
Man1 : well skin the fuck up man

I dont leave the house until im two joints stoned.

by frogpubes October 4, 2013

Two-timer Catholic

Refers to catholics who attend church twice a year, on Christmas and Easter. May also be used to refer to other religions, but is most commonly used in reference to catholics.

The Christmas mass is always packed. All the two-timer catholics come back and take up the good seats.

by Fishmalk December 10, 2011

Two man trumpet

When two men take turns blowing another man, and while alternating, one fingers the recipient's asshole as if using the finger buttons on a trumpet to the tune of his favorite song.

"I just got two man trumpeted by my homies for my birthday and they even finger buttoned my asshole to the Happy Birthday Song!"

by Betty Be Nasty August 31, 2018

Two Thumbs Up

An unofficial honor given for excellence in any field. 'Two thumbs up' is/are not contained to any profession/achievement, and, therefore, can be awarded for any outstanding accomplishment.

When Ebert & Rober give a movie two thumbs up, does each of them contribute one thumb?

by Diggity Monkeez February 8, 2005

two dolla hoe

A wordhoe/word that costs two United States dollars a pop.

I fucked that two dolla hoe last night!

by |darc| December 8, 2002

Ticonderoga Two-Touch

(n) An aggressive maneuver, when one "drops" a pencil (preferably a Ticonderoga #2), begins to bend down to pick it up, but then double taps the nutsack of someone else with a quick one-two combination of slaps.

Mike enjoys the Old Kennedy Cock Punch, but I myself prefer the Ticonderoga Two-Touch.

by Ray Kinsella April 13, 2011

two sheets in the bag

An extreme level of drunkenness. This is a mixture of half in the bag, and two sheets to the wind. This saying is usually uttered by the individual too intoxicated to accurately describe his or her level of intoxication. Note, this level of drunkenness may also coincide with carefree spitting on the bar/restaurant floor.

Tom: How are you holing up?
Ryan: I'm two sheets in the bag.

by RPOC November 22, 2007