When you lay her down on a crucifix, and nail her three times. On the third day, you'll be able to get a rise again.
Bob: "I heard Sara got Jesus Fucked last summer".
Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"
Bob: "Yeah dude."
Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"
Bob: "Yeah dude."
Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
by The mysterious Mr.R April 16, 2011
Get the Jesus Fuckmug. by chun hyang February 6, 2008
Get the jesus christmug. 1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
by XxXI.AM.NOT.AN.AETHEISTXxX April 4, 2009
Get the Jesus Christmug. A would-be saviour who is incapable of fixing his own problems, but insists on saving you from yours. Salvation, in this case, involves crucifixion of the focus of Dwarf Jesus' attention, since Dwarf Jesus is too short to crucify himself.
Dwarf Jesus occasionally is correct, but this is a statistical anomaly, and should not be trusted.
Dwarf Jesus occasionally is correct, but this is a statistical anomaly, and should not be trusted.
by Wodn May 4, 2009
Get the Dwarf Jesusmug. Term used by Christian retailers to describe small plastic toys, pens, and pencils that have been imprinted with trite religious phrases to be handed out to children for memorizing Bible verses in Sunday School.
by Daryl May 11, 2003
Get the Jesus junkmug. Falsely accusing someone of doing something wrong when in fact that person did nothing wrong. Similar to someone hating on Jesus for........ I don't know why someone would hate on Jesus. All he did was help people and "they" killed him. Ain't that a bitch!?!
Person 1: Hey, my car won't start! I let you use my car for one day and you broke it! What the fuck?
Person 2: Calm down bro! Your battery was old and needed to be replaced so I sent Parker to the store to get a new one for you. So basically you're hating on Jesus. Why you hatin' on Jesus bro? Why you hatin' on Jesus.
Person 2: Calm down bro! Your battery was old and needed to be replaced so I sent Parker to the store to get a new one for you. So basically you're hating on Jesus. Why you hatin' on Jesus bro? Why you hatin' on Jesus.
by MoneyMatt573 December 17, 2010
Get the Hatin' on Jesusmug. A Jesus cock is despised and rejected by men beaten abused and crucified by its owner only to rise again as the perfect cock for any vagina the Jesus cock is the savior of all vaginas that have been cleansed and washed again and are clean and fresh a Jesus cock once revealed to the woman is irresistible to her it is the cock of cocks
by ffffffffuck me 2020 March 27, 2021
Get the Jesus cockmug.