Captain Morgan Wipe

The preferred technique for wiping one's ass. One must be nude or pantless for proper execution. After completion of the deuce, you arise, inspect your work, form a satisfied grin on your face, place a bare foot on the still warm seat (striking the Captain Morgan pose) for easy cleaning access, and commence wiping.

My gf caught me in the middle of a Captain Morgan wipe yesterday. I really need to start closing the bathroom door.

by Dan I am February 5, 2010

Flemish Sea Captain

A Flemish Sea Captain occurs while one partner is performing oral sex and blows their nose (ideally with a large amount of phlegm) onto their partner's genitals.

Suzy: "Oh yeah...oh yeah..."

Jonny: "I'm so stuffed up with all this phlegm...I can feel it dripping down my nose."

Suzy: "It's okay, just give me the Flemish Sea Captain"

* (sound of blowing nose)

Jonny: "Crap, I've got a nosebleed..."

by Poops McPooperton March 28, 2009

Captain of The Chocolate Runway

A homosexual person. i.e a fag

damn that guy must be captain of the chocolate runway

by Anonymous February 16, 2003

captain cock smoker

This is in fact the leader of all cock smokers. This is a fag or cock gobblin. A real dick sucker. Leader of all fags, queers, homos, and drag queens. You can't get any higher of a reading from the gaydar from this person. One who takes any cock in there mouth. This person will most likely have herpies on there lips.

Wow!, Bill will suck any ones dick who ask him to. That faggot must be the captain cock smoker.

by Mr. Dirthole August 6, 2012

captain insano eyes

The exact moment where someone or something is so funny that you laugh your ass off enough to make your eyes swell up and you begin crying hysterically.

In the movie "The Waterboy" Adam Sandler attempts to become the new waterboy of his favorite wrestler, Captain Insano and when he reveals that he is in fact 31 years old Captain Insano and the TV presenter laugh hysterically and Bobby Boucher hangs up before they can answer.

Real Life Situation

DUDE 1: "Hey man, did you see Turd Ferguson on Celebrity Jeopardy?"
DUDE 2: "Yeah man, I had mad captain insano eyes going."

by K Balls & Grandy April 2, 2009

Captain Old Spice

A worthy sea captain who constantly scores plenty of pussy.
a.k.a a modern Pimp.

Man...he's soo cool we nicknamed him Captain old Spice.

Chuck Noris is a Captain old Spice.

by Captain Old Spice January 22, 2009

Captain Skinny-Dick

Someone who is short tempered, frequently asserts themselves over others, and wrongly accuses people for things they didn't do. They are usually a complete asshole as well.

Joe: "Did you hear about what Bob did yesterday?"

Tom: "Yeah, he took control of the Soup Kitchen, claimed himself as King of the Homeless, and then accused the lead chef of murdering his cat."

Joe: "Yeah, he's a Captain Skinny-Dick"

by SucklinTeets June 16, 2014