jesus dollars 

Extraterrestial currency that Jesus will give OR NOT give you when you die, considering you make it into heaven. The amount you receive is based on how good/bad of a person you were on Earth.

also known as "jesus bucks"

Jeremy: "Matt is such a stuck up, arrogant, spoiled bitch. He thinks just cause his dad is successful, it justifies him being so argumentative and getting fat all day."

Liz: "Don't worry jeremy, it doesn't matter that matt lives rich off his parents now. If he makes it into heaven that kid couldn't even afford the value menu, cause he's getting NO jesus dollars."

Jeremy: "HAHAHAHAHAH!!! jesus dollars? i'm putting that on urban dictionary!"

Liz and Jeremy: fist bump

jesus dollars by J DIBS August 26, 2011

Jesus price 

An exorbitant price quoted in response to an enquiry, often in bargaining situations in markets etc. where haggling is usual.

An over optimistic price quoted in the hope of snaring an unsuspecting buyer, tourist etc.
Said by the prospective purchaser to indicate that they know roughly what something is worth and are not going to pay over the odds.

Man standing in front of shop selling oriental rugs, shopkeeper approaches:
"How much is that one (pointing to a nice example)...but don't quote me no Jesus price"

Jesus price by MoLincs August 10, 2009

jesus titty fucking christ

When the son of god consensually fucks the titties of another man named Christ in public.

Greggles: Jesus titty fucking christ!!! Jesus is titty fucking CHRIST!!!

jesus titty fucking christ by victor kung October 30, 2010

Jesus Sheep-Fucking Christ

A phrase commonly used by sunday school children when they scrape their knees, the phrase originated from the fact that Jesus and other sand niggers fuck sheep when they can't get laid.

Jesus Sheep-Fucking Christ you Moon Belly you just spilt the bong water.

Jesus Sheep-Fucking Christ by Tom Ali August 21, 2006

Jesus wheels 

Your legs, the simplest mode of transport. Often said in jest or sardonically

Max: How did you get here?
Min: Oh,on jesus wheels...

Jesus wheels by Thought101 February 17, 2008

jesus is my nigga 

What a white Christian man says when he is trying to get black people to join his religion. He usually ends up being beaten up.

"Remember, Jesus is my nigga and Jesus is your nigga!"

jesus is my nigga by RaskBunzzz June 28, 2019

jesus H corbett 

what you end up saying when you mean to say jesus h christ but then the 'h' puts you off so it becomes a hybrid of the aforementioned and harry h corbett off steptoe and son.

jesus h corbett what the fuck are you talking about you sad git. er, I mean christ not corbett!

jesus H corbett by ben dover of the yard July 7, 2004