fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.

After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.

by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010

ass ferret

The agry mischievous creature that burrows deep within your lower colon, causing much discomfort and kicking out a lot of loose debris.

AKA Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

I must've picked up that The Stand virus cuz that damned ass ferret is doing his step aerobics today...

by Olive Thomas July 28, 2005

ferret flap

Ferret flap is another word for vagina...especially hairy ones.

Her ferret flap stinks.

by German Poodle May 14, 2005

ferret shock

A state of extreme disorientation caused by an excessive number of choices or stimuli. Coined by Pete Abrams in the early years of the webcomic, Sluggy Freelance; specifically in reference to the character, Kiki, and her tendency to enter a catatonic state when faced with a large number of 'shiny' things.

When we went to the arcade Mike had a major case of ferret shock; we ended up having to drop him off at the book store.

by FeO2 May 12, 2011

Crotch Ferret

The bulge of fat on the crotch of an obese person.

Dude, your mom needs to get rid of that crotch ferret. I bet she hasn't got any for like, 10 years.

by Masmai April 25, 2009

Sex Ferret

A woman, or twink, who is like a sexualized ferret. Small, acrobatic and playful. This is the sort of person who grabs you underneath a table and steals your undershorts in the morning.

Guy: Hey, that girl Jeannie is a real sex ferret. It was unbelievable.

Friend: I live down the hall from her, it sure smells like it.

by VCU Student At Large January 9, 2011

Ferret weasel

A derogotary term, often used as a super offensive insult.

That fucking Bagpuss is a fucking ginger ferret weaselin bastard.

by Gordy Willmott August 18, 2006