fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.
After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.
by Blenderhead91 September 07, 2010
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ass ferret

The agry mischievous creature that burrows deep within your lower colon, causing much discomfort and kicking out a lot of loose debris.

AKA Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
I must've picked up that The Stand virus cuz that damned ass ferret is doing his step aerobics today...
by Olive Thomas July 11, 2005
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ferret flap

Ferret flap is another word for vagina...especially hairy ones.
Her ferret flap stinks.
by German Poodle May 12, 2005
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ferret shock

A state of extreme disorientation caused by an excessive number of choices or stimuli. Coined by Pete Abrams in the early years of the webcomic, Sluggy Freelance; specifically in reference to the character, Kiki, and her tendency to enter a catatonic state when faced with a large number of 'shiny' things.
When we went to the arcade Mike had a major case of ferret shock; we ended up having to drop him off at the book store.
by FeO2 April 21, 2011
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Crotch Ferret

The bulge of fat on the crotch of an obese person.
Dude, your mom needs to get rid of that crotch ferret. I bet she hasn't got any for like, 10 years.
by Masmai April 25, 2009
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Sex Ferret

A woman, or twink, who is like a sexualized ferret. Small, acrobatic and playful. This is the sort of person who grabs you underneath a table and steals your undershorts in the morning.
Guy: Hey, that girl Jeannie is a real sex ferret. It was unbelievable.

Friend: I live down the hall from her, it sure smells like it.
by VCU Student At Large January 09, 2011
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Ferret weasel

A derogotary term, often used as a super offensive insult.
That fucking Bagpuss is a fucking ginger ferret weaselin bastard.
by Gordy Willmott August 18, 2006
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