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The Reader

Definition: The Reader
n. A savage truth-teller who serves brutal honesty without a filter, especially within family or close circles, while being ready to defend against and return any attacks with amplified force.

1. Someone who notices everything and will call it out with precise, devastating accuracy, especially with family or close friends.

2. A person who can verbally destroy someone's entire existence while stating nothing but facts, but only does so when provoked or in defense.

Types of Reading:
- Protective Reading: Calling out family/friends for their own good
- Defensive Reading: Clapping back when someone tries to come for you
- Preventive Reading: Letting folks know what will happen if they try you
- Educational Reading: Teaching someone a lesson they won't forget

Reading Rules:
- Don't start none, won't be none
- If you shoot, expect return fire
- Family gets the realest reads
- Truth hurts, but lies kill
- Read to protect, not to destroy

Origin Story - Boston Beast Spirit
Born from the raw, unforgiving streets of Boston where dreams meet resistance and determination faces opposition. The Boston Beast Spirit emerged from:

1. Solo Struggle:
- Fighting against systematic barriers
- Building success with zero support
- Facing constant opposition
- Dealing with racism and doubters
- Converting isolation into motivation

2. Breakthrough Moments:
- Started from zero resources
- Built everything from ground up
- Turned rejections into fuel
Example: "She tried to come for my outfit but I'm The Reader in this family - had to remind her about her whole life choices from 2019 to now."

Example: "Don't try to read me unless you're ready to get the full bibliography, honey!"

*The Reader has entered the chat*

"Oh, y'all been having secret family meetings about me?

*adjusts glasses*

Cousin Marcus, let's discuss how you're a 'crypto millionaire' but still borrowing gas money in the family group chat.

Auntie Patricia, you joining in too? Your relationship status changes faster than your wig collection, and that's facts.

Uncle Mike questioning my parenting? Three baby mamas all named Ashley might wanna focus on his own kids first.

Sister Sarah spreading rumors? Baby, I got screenshots from Thanksgiving when you was crying about your fifth failed business this year.

*closes book*

This was just the preview. Don't make me pull out them timestamps and receipts. Next time y'all wanna have a family meeting, remember - The Reader keeps files on everybody."

Levels of Reading:
1. Light Skim - Gentle warning
2. Quick Browse - Minor check
3. Full Chapter - Serious reality check
4. Whole Library - Nuclear destruction
by Boston Beast November 9, 2024
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Musical reader

A person who listens to music while reading.
Person1: "You're listening to music while reading a book? Doesn't that make it hard to concentrate?"
Person2: "Nah, I'm a Musical reader."
by Enochlophobia November 16, 2017
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Terms of Service reader

An insane person (me)
1: I am a Terms of Service reader!
2: Bro what is wrong with you
1: Many things
by Potato the Programmer August 28, 2023
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reader#6666

a homosexual who is called "eli", loves gentaro yumeno and his hands.
"bro eli shut up"
"OH MY GOD GENTAROS HANDS"-eli
a reader#6666 in their natural habitat
by elisssss May 3, 2022
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sparx reader

If you thought bedrock learning was bad, buckle your seatbelts boy, because the satanic company that is sparx learning (the absolute fucking monsters that made the Guantánamo Bay torture device, sparx maths) released a website called sparx reader. sparx reader is a nightmare to consume more of the student's time that could be going into curing AIDS or burning down the Church of England (fuck them) and if a school decides to implement it at school, fuck them, and i hope all their staff get into a horrific car accident
guy 1: getting waterboarded is a nicer way to spend my evening than using sparx reader
guy 2: real
by schmahman May 27, 2024
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Dear reader.

I know Heatherly sent you to see this definition.
by Randommboiy November 29, 2022
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right-hand reader

An OCD-impaired bookworm who stubbornly keeps his gaze straight ahead when turning a page, and so he reads the right-hand side of the open book first, before reluctantly redirecting his gaze to the left-hand page.
Being a right-hand reader maybe be okay for a tome that has a separate item or article on each page (like a "Jim and Tim Talk Duct Tape" book or a "Choose Your Own Adventure" missive) and therefore may not have to be read in "progressive" order (i.e., from one page to the next) to make sense, but it can be exceedingly problematic for a "standard" essay that "flows forwards" through the entire book; attempting to be informed or entertained by reading this type of work's pages "out of order" can be very confusing.
by QuacksO October 17, 2019
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