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Santa Claus

original name: Zänte Klas
pronounced: (tsain teh klahz)

A German Nazi doctor who dealt in psychological experimentations with the Jewish prisoners by leaving symbolic items in odd places; such as a ragdoll nailed to a wall. He also loved to play jokes on his fellow officers. In one account, Klas was locked out of a building for being a nuisance and ended up climbing on the roof and sliding down the chimney in order to get inside where he proceeded to eat all of the food and drink the last of their milk stock.

Feared by many for his extreme madness, yet unliked in high command for his lack of success, he was reassigned to an expiditionary team bound for the northern pole. Due to bad weather, the team was left stranded without resupply for weeks in which all died but one. The lone survivor's recount was a terrible one, describing how Herr Zänte Klas killed and ate the team, being the big man he was. When asked how he escaped, the survivor said Klas had been watching him closely, and told him he was a good boy and wouldn't be harmed.

All the men who were killed had, on the night before, hung up their big wool socks to dry and woke to find coal had been placed in them. Another one of Klas's symbolic jokes, they thought. Too late did they realize the truth.
So be a good boy because "Santa Claus" watches closely and rewards those who are good. But be a bad boy, and you'll find more than coal in the morning...
by Winter Wonder January 27, 2009
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santa clausification

To paint a glowing and praiseworthy picture of a somewhat well know, but assumed to be great and wholesome individual. Martin Luther King, Jr. has be 'santa clausified' by the white American public.
The santa clausification of Santa Claus will end when the frozen human heads are found in his basement or the animal porn collection is unearthed.
by Ian (St.) R. April 11, 2008
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santa claus

santa claus is a cheap bitch who put me on the naughty list
by poohead smelly November 8, 2019
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santa claus

When you have a lot of weed and you don't want to smoke it in any usual way, you throw lot of weed in your fireplace, while your mate is up, on the roof and he's getting one fucking hot shot right from the chimney.
Pete: Hey, mate where´s Kevin?

Dave (while throwing the weed into fireplace, grinning): He´s on the roof getting santa claused right now.
by funny_frog January 1, 2018
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Santa Claus

After copulation, a partner makes a mustache and/or beard with semen on the other partner.
After the blow job, he gave her a Santa Claus.
by PeteRepeat October 1, 2006
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Santa Claus

Codeword for the guy we depend on to deliver the good bud.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.
KELLY (on cell): Hey, Gary just thought I'd let you know: I haven't seen SANTA CLAUS. So, I guess it's 'whenever.' I wish he'd hurry up and at least gimme a call.
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."
by Chingo Bolamongo December 22, 2006
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santa claus

1. A fake Christmas from the north pole who make toys for good boys and girls with his elves and wife.
2. A Turkish man named St. Nicholas who made little trinkets for poverty-stricken children and put the toys in the shoes they left on their doorsteps.
3. A lie parents tell their children so they don't cause trouble all year but'll never go to the 'jects.
4. The guy at the mall and the kids take a picture with some desperate fat guy who probably is a drunk who abuses his wife and hates kids.
1. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
2.
3. Timmy, if you're good and quiet Santa Claus will get you that bike you want...and I can fuck Uncle Nick all year without you telling this time.
4. Ho!Ho!Ho...later...Fuckin' brats (chugs) this soup is cold bitch! (slaps wife).
by MayaEA April 26, 2006
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