A Root Beer Float is when poop and jizz are mixed. First recognized as a teen when one had to hide themselves in the bathroom to masturbate. One would sit on the toilet with a dump in the water, proceed to masturbate and turn around to jizz on to the poop in the toilet. This creates a mixture of brown and white that looks similar to everybody's favorite cold treat, a root beer float.
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Hello bakers, my name is Bitty Kembleford, and today I'll he making a special take on a summer classic: The Alaskan Root Beer Float.
Do you remember the first time you had a root beer float? I do. I must have been around 7 years old and we were visiting my grandparents in Phoenix, in the summer.
Have you ever been to Arizona in the summer? Must be why I find Sacramento so tolerable. Let's just say it's hot.
I still remember all of us greedy kids, still in our swim suits, having been cooling off in the pool all day, lined up in the kitchen, wide eyed as we watched my father pull the multicolored hankercheif out of his weenie and clap in joyful glee.
It was just last Tuesday, a year ago, that my divorce happened. Very tragic. Humorous as well.
I was a mess. I went to the store and bought vinegar, ketchup, licorice, root beer, cigarettes, and vanilla ice cream.
Fortunately, I didn't put all of that together (whew... heart attack avoided), but I did make a root beer float, one of the most classic memories of my childhood.
It seems like root beer floats have been following me everywhere. Even after dad got shot.
Do you remember the first time you had a root beer float? I do. I must have been around 7 years old and we were visiting my grandparents in Phoenix, in the summer.
Have you ever been to Arizona in the summer? Must be why I find Sacramento so tolerable. Let's just say it's hot.
I still remember all of us greedy kids, still in our swim suits, having been cooling off in the pool all day, lined up in the kitchen, wide eyed as we watched my father pull the multicolored hankercheif out of his weenie and clap in joyful glee.
It was just last Tuesday, a year ago, that my divorce happened. Very tragic. Humorous as well.
I was a mess. I went to the store and bought vinegar, ketchup, licorice, root beer, cigarettes, and vanilla ice cream.
Fortunately, I didn't put all of that together (whew... heart attack avoided), but I did make a root beer float, one of the most classic memories of my childhood.
It seems like root beer floats have been following me everywhere. Even after dad got shot.
Now let's crack on, shall we?
I use the So Delicious Vanilla Bean Coconut Ice Cream and Virgil's Organic Root Beer for my Alaskan Root Beer Float.
Using your favorite ash tray, combine cigarettes, vinegar, and baking soda.
In a separate bowl, combine one cup of Vanilla Ice Cream, and a bottle of your Virgil's Organic Root Beer.
Heated on medium, take a pot full of boiling water, and butterscotch Jell-O Mix, and combine until the lumps of Jell-O are gone. Next, remove from heat, and add the previous ingredients. Refridgerate for two days.
After all the anxious waiting, remove your Root Beer Float from the fridge. Makes two servings (serve with ketchup).
I use the So Delicious Vanilla Bean Coconut Ice Cream and Virgil's Organic Root Beer for my Alaskan Root Beer Float.
Using your favorite ash tray, combine cigarettes, vinegar, and baking soda.
In a separate bowl, combine one cup of Vanilla Ice Cream, and a bottle of your Virgil's Organic Root Beer.
Heated on medium, take a pot full of boiling water, and butterscotch Jell-O Mix, and combine until the lumps of Jell-O are gone. Next, remove from heat, and add the previous ingredients. Refridgerate for two days.
After all the anxious waiting, remove your Root Beer Float from the fridge. Makes two servings (serve with ketchup).
by jules019 January 19, 2021
Get the Alaskan Root Beer Float mug.Ichor, the blood of the gods, pent up into a small aluminum can. It is said to bring all who worship, drink, and admire it to Valhalla. The bulldog on the front of the can is a representation of power, sanctity, and bravery. And if you drink A and W, fuck you.
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Get the Mug root beer mug.Root beer spiked with about 2 ounces of Captain Morgan that you drank when you were 11 with 3 friends at a fire you started with their moms Zippo in the woods
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Get the cap'n root beer mug.The best freakin' soda for any Eastie Beasty out there. Plus I know the guy (or my rockin friend Liam does) so I can get us hooked up!
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Get the Hank's Root Beer mug.The poor man's Mug Root Beer for when you just want a large-ass $1 infinitely refillable cup from McDonald's to sit down with in the bathroom drinking enough root beer to be consistently pissing into and flooding the urinals from 3 feet away, destroy you kidneys and ruining everyone else's McBathroom experience
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