first poster

A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.

First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"

by Nicholas D July 27, 2009

poster

A phrase usually stated during a basketball game in which one player embarasses another player by either vigorously blocking his/her shot or emphatically dunking over someone

(after somebody dunks over Kwame Brown)
Marv Albert: And (insert player name) puts Kwame Brown on the poster.

or simply

(in a mournful voice)
(player name)...........welcome to the poster

by Russell Baker May 27, 2008

poster child

Someone who is the perfect fit for a stereotype.

That girl who says "like, omg" all the time is the poster child for a Valley Girl.

by Im Caca for Cocoa Puffs January 22, 2008

Poster Nutbag

A dead cat that used to be Jimmy's pet. But now Jimmy wants a dog.

Dad- Son, I have some bad news
Jimmy- What is it Dad?
Dad- It's about your cat, Poster
Jimmy- Poster Nutbag ??
Dad- Yes
Jimmy- What is it Dad?

Dad- ...Your cat DIIIIIIEEEEEEEDD !!!

by Poster Nutbag May 20, 2003

postdoc

A postdoc is a Ph.D. holder who has not been able to secure a stable academic position and therefore sticks around in different labs. A postdoc often lives off soft money in a series of 2-/3-year appointments, until he or she lands a tenure-track position, leaves academia for an industry job, finds a room in the parents' basement, or commit suicide in despair.

Jane: "You know, something's eating away that leftover muffins on the table. Must be mice or roaches hiding in this lab."

Tom: "No, that's our postdoc John."

by a postdoc February 17, 2008

posterior extraction

Method used to come up with data, or reasoning to make a descision. Formerly known as pulling it out of your ass.

Little Johnny: "I think President Bush is the most beloved president since Hoover."

Big Johnny: "How did you come up with that idea?"

LJ: "I used the posterior extraction method."

by frnkly April 28, 2008

Poshed

The space left in your wallet after a particularly drunken and expensive night out. Normally after being invited on an aquaintances birthday/stag night to go somwhere you would not normally go due to the expense. Anywhere on Broad Street for example.
The best way not to get poshed is to get the first round in. Then later in the night, when your compadres are drunk you can seagull a few drinks from them.
How to realise that you are getting poshed: when it dawns on you that the content of your wallet will either stretch to a curry and a taxi home, or one more drink - and you get the drink.
A popular place to get poshed is a distant cousin's wedding where the free bar has been withdrawn. Thus you end up drinking your taxi fare back to the B & B and having to scrounge a lift from some pissed-up arse in a Range Rover.

'Coming for a curry?'
'Nah, I'm totally poshed mate. Lend me a tenner?'
'*&$£"! off!'

'Good night out?'
'Yeah, we went up town now I'm completely poshed. Lend me a tenner?'

'How was the wedding?'
'Crap, the freebies were denied so we got well poshed!'

by Loopmeister August 2, 2006