masturbatist

A professional masturbater

Sam:"what do you want to be when you grow up" Jim: " a Masturbatist".

by jakeblazer June 7, 2018

Masturbate March

This is when you masturbate every day for the month of March. It is also called #MasturbateMadness

John said he would never take part in Masturbate March ever again.

by PrincessKat November 1, 2019

Ninja Masturbation

Masturbation (by a man) that takes place silently.

Harry has Ninja masturbation skill!!

by e4r5t6y7u8i9o0- November 25, 2010

retaliatory masturbation

The act of masturbating over somebody who annoys you, in retaliation. Could be used as an act of revenge or just as an excuse to masturbate over them.

Man 1: 'Hey dude, that really really really really hot girl unfriended me on Facebook.'
Man 2: 'What are you gonna do about it mate?'
Man 1: 'Chillax mate, I already got her back through retaliatory masturbation.'

by Alan Pincus13 November 26, 2013

kamikaze masturbate

A game where you call your parents and start masturbating, the catch is that you have to finish before they arrive

Yesterday I played kamikaze masturbate but I lost

by MasterBaiter December 14, 2014

academic masturbation

Spending your life researching things that, although may be on point, nothing will be done to progress the area actively. Implicated in life sciences for example

Going to university for 7 years to become a lecturer within that field for the rest of your life is an act of academic masturbation

by freeseed March 31, 2015

The masturbating ninja technique

When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.

Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".

by dirk digglett March 31, 2015