you had one job

Response to failing to do the one and only thing you had to do. This is told, either in a disgusted, mocking, or angry tone to people, animals, inanimate objects, and anything else that fails to complete the simple task for which it was designed.
A way to express total fail, epic fail, especially when the one job was very simple.

To a cheap park bench that broke while I was sitting on it, "You had one job, park bench!"
To an accountant who was fired for inaccurate computing of business records. "You are supposed to be an accountant, right? You had one job, Sandy."
To a friend about my broken down car, "Damnit, it had one job!"

by Wwerker October 13, 2014

being had

Being mistreated, cheated or dealt with badly.

"I can't believe you paid so much for that TV. You're being had! I bought the same TV for half the price."

"You're being had. Your lover is married and has 2 children".

by Carlos AM February 20, 2014

why doesn't somebody not know how to flush a toilet after they've had a shet

wasn't me

well it was foocking one of yaz
DISGUSTANG
why doesn't somebody not know how to flush a toilet after they've had a shet- youtube

by im in school right now no joke May 9, 2019

I guess you had to be there

What you say when someone tells you something he thinks is hilarious but really isn't. You say this to avoid hurting your friend's feelings in breaking it to him that his joke sucks.

Dudeman 1: "Oh man, I was playing horseshoes in Red Dead Redemption and I got a really close throw and John was all like, 'Did you see that!' It was so funny dude!"

Dudeman 2: "I guess you had to be there."

Dudeman 1: :(

by Izzy del Bosque June 10, 2010

All you had to do is follow the damn train CJ

A quote from a hard mission in GTA: San Andreas

*somone fails at slapping someone in the face* "all you had to do is follow the damn train CJ"
"Lol"

by Thedank0r October 13, 2016

I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Something you might shout out when you're fed up with a frustrating situation.

After dealing with aggravating bureaucrats for hours, Joe suddenly shouted "I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

From the movie "Snakes on a Plane"

by Charles W. August 21, 2006

You had to be there

A phrase used as an excuse after someone tells a story that's not funny at all.

Person A: "Isn't that hilarious?"
Person B: "No, I don't really get it."
Person A: "...You had to be there."

by Yer MOM10000 August 9, 2009