deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by December 06, 2024
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deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by December 06, 2024
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Double deposit

When a girl is taking a shit and sucking your dick at the same time. A reverse blumpkin really.
"Dude she was so drunk last night she did a double deposit behind McDonald's dumpster"
by Dianewhitson May 25, 2015
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deposit box

A term used by a gay man to describe a slutty woman's vagina.
That bitch needs to get her deposit box filled.

vagina pussy bisquit box vag
by sharpcarp18 June 27, 2015
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Direct Deposit

When one sits on one's face, wide-open mouth air tight to one's anus and defecates.
"I was wacking off to this porno called "Bankers and Spankers" last night where this 300 pound banker gives this 100 pounds soak and wet spanker a direct deposit."
by zerk August 25, 2018
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Houston Deposit

The charitable donation of some brown steaming goodness to the city of Houston's drinking water.

A popular term among the FC Dallas supporters group, the Dallas Beer Guardians, at the expense of the halfwits who had to steal the San Jose Earthquakes just to find 11 morons with no better option than to play in the humid smoggy carbuncle. The phrase stems from the fact that the majority of Houston's water supply comes in the form of reused wastewater from the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. Residents of Inbredia have, as Texas State University professor Andy Sansom says, “been drinking Dallas’ crap for decades.”
"I'll be back in five, I need to go make a Houston Deposit."
by Blue Army December 04, 2014
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Dook deposit

To take a crap. Going to the bathroom to take a dump. Taking a shit.
I'll be right back. I have to make a dook deposit.

I was in the bathroom for a while. I had to make a dook deposit.
by johnnydook19 May 17, 2011
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