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jesus freak

A person who supports and believes in Christianity, often to the degree where it's overwhelming, irritating, and even creepy. Some pass out pamphlets promoting God or Christ, plead with you to come to church, and sport stickers or T-shirts promoting their God, whom they've never seen physical proof of. Sometimes they'll even try to force their beliefs on you, so if you're an atheist, beware.
Jesus freak: "Come to church, it won't hurt. Jesus loves you. He died for your sins."

Person: "Well, have you actually seen Jesus or God?"

Jesus freak: "Um, no, but he talks to me in my dreams."

Person: "Uhh... yeah. Piss off, you creep."
by HueyFreeman September 13, 2006
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Jesus Fuck

-noun
1. An ecstasy-inducing religious experience.

2. A conversation between dating individuals who refuse to have sex, and so choose, instead, to talk about their love for their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

-interjection
1. An exclamation that is markedly more serious than the traditional words "fuck" or "Jesus." It is pronounced as if there is a comma between the two words: "Jesus, FUCK"
Person 1: What did you and that guy do last night? Did you hook up?

Person 2: You know, he is really religious and stuff. That got in the way, so we decided to Jesus Fuck instead.
by BetaBlocker July 8, 2010
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Spic Jesus

Jesmani Alicea, located in Attleboro, MA 02703
Jesmani is a spic, and the next jesus, so he is Spic Jesus
by SeanDaley March 2, 2010
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Sleazy Jesus

An deliciously strong alcoholic beverage meant to be chugged.

It consists of half Natural Light and half Sangria, and is finished off with a shot of vodka. After mixing the ingredients in a red solo cup, the drink is meant to be consumed extremely fast for the best end result. Sangria is used to represent the blood of jesus and the beer/vodka to make you sleazy.

The drink received its name from the sleazy jesus scene in the recent musical "Reefer Madness."
Holy Jeez, that Sleazy Jesus was damn good.

Another round!
by Otard June 27, 2008
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Apple Jesus

When your iphone or MacBook dies, they go up in the Cloud to Apple Jesus.

When an Apple product is sick and you need just long enough to let your contract run out or get them backed up, you pray that they don't go see Apple Jesus yet.

Apple Jesus lives where the Cloud is.
I still owe $200 on my iphone 6, so it can't go see Apple Jesus yet!

I lost my iphone today. I am praying to Apple Jesus that my photos I took last night are really up in the cloud.
by Ms Busta Rhyme June 16, 2017
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Jesus on a stick

a weird food they sell at the Korean Presbyterian church down the street
Dude have you had the Jesus on a stick?
yeah man it tastes pretty good
by theczechspam May 9, 2018
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Jesus Velocity

When a massive or difficult project is finished in a relatively short amount of time.
Luke McKinny, cracked.com Over three days, I saw a Beijing street torn up, disemboweled and resurfaced. The roadway was made whole at Jesus velocity
by Krashlia July 4, 2012
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