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Blonde Jesus

(noun, adjective) A blonde-haired person that resembles Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour.
Eg. "Madi Smith is a Blonde Jesus for many reasons. One of which is her thick and long, luscious blonde locks and another is her Jesus-like appearance and personality!"
by pseudondonym November 11, 2011
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Jesus Cockblock

When a guy can't go any further with his girlfriend because he is too pious with his religious beliefs.
synonyms: cockblock, Jesus, religion
antonyms: sex. running the bases

Guy 1: "Man, Landon can't get any action from his girl."
Guy 2: "Why not?"
Guy 1 "He's got that Jesus cockblock
by rocky2012 December 26, 2011
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Turbo Jesus

Turbo Jesus is a meme found on quickmemes regarding a deity greater than Jesus performing acts of greater heroism than Jesus Christ himself.
Jesus turned water into wine,
Turbo Jesus turned wine into cocaine.

Jesus died on cross and rose again in 3 days.
Turbo Jesus did it in 1.5 days. Jews saved.
by Snarelax May 1, 2012
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Jesus guest

n. (Gee^ zuz gest) An arrogant person who thinks that budget motels should have Marriott or Hilton standards in accordance to amenities. Also has a high demand for decaffeinated coffee.
Darla the Jesus guest demanded the lobby serve decaf coffee during her free continental breakfast.
by lordvader1982 November 18, 2010
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Rappin' for Jesus

A popular song made by Pastor Jim Colerick and Mary Sue Colerick who most likely fucks the people in his church but Well I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga
Oooooooo
He's a life-changer, miracle-arranger
Born to the virgin mom in a manger
Water to wine, he's a drink exchanger
And he died for your sins
I preach the word, that's my gig
And I rhyme better than Notorious BIG
Other emcees, I wish them well
But if you live in sin, you burn in hell
Now I'ma pass the mic to my lovely wife
She's a fly emcee and the light of my life
So to bust a rhyme without further ado
Take it away, Mary Sue!
Jesus Christ is my nigga
I am officially a Rappin' for Jesus Christian
by Go ring the durbell September 30, 2020
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Cocaine Jesus

by Swhitt88 October 16, 2018
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Jesus Cup

In Beer Pong, the cup whom seems to float around the table endlessly without any force being pushed upon it. Naturally caused by excess beer and/or water spilled on the beer pong table.
Dude fix that Jesus cup, it's floating right at me.
by brown dynamite June 3, 2011
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