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Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier

Someone slow, dimwitted or stupid - another way of saying "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer". Also, someone who stands out in a crowd as being particularly unintelligent.
Marisa: Why does Eric even bother talking in class - he has no idea what he's talking about.

Michael: What do you expect? I mean he's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier!
by SpencerDuhm March 15, 2009
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you are not the father

The opposite of you are the father. Meaning a male is not the biological father of a child.

Most often also heard on the Maury Show, when the girl who was banging 16 different guys at the time she got pregnant has no idea who her baby daddy is.

Unlike its counterpart, the words every guy wants to hear if they had sex with some of the nasty ho's on there.
Denise, a 17 year old mother of Shantell, is 1000% sure Elron is the father of the little girl. Elron has stated 'Dat baby don' look nutin' like me' and 'Dat girl iz a hoe!" while Denise screams at him to 'Be a man!' and "Step up to yo' responsibilitays!" Maury holds the envelope-

"When it comes to the case of 2-year old Shantell, Elron...you are NOT the father!"

*Elron then stands up overjoyed and elated, and calls Denise a hoe, slut, and bitch or other similar words as she runs off crying. Elron then whoops it up with the crowd while Denise screams in agony
by ACG2x September 8, 2004
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When you come at the king, you best not miss.

One of Omar Little's best lines. He's the king of West-Baltimore and warns his enemies that they only have one shot or else they're gone.
When you come at the king, you best not miss.
by Omar's Shotgun June 29, 2017
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I'm not the one

Don't funk with me. You are biting off more than you can chew. I'm more than just talk. You are starting a fight with the wrong person. "I'm not the one"
"I'll beat your A$$"
"I'm not the one"
by Lele skinny mini December 18, 2014
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noah get the boat

'noah get the boat' is an expression based the Abrahamic idea of 'Noah's Ark', where Noah boards an Ark with a few humans and animals and leave the rest of humanity to die in a destructive flood. The statement is often used when a person sees something so horrible or cursed that they feel like wiping out humanity and starting anew.
Person A: "Have you heard? A man apparently got his sister pregnant during a party."
Person B: "noah get the boat"
by mintansea March 8, 2021
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You are not the father

The words that every man loves to hear!
Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!
by Ari Shaffir September 25, 2011
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