Post-Wank Blues

The intense feeling of shame and loneliness one feels after a hefty wanking session. Tends to be at its worst if the act has been committed in the middle of the day on a weekday, when how pathetic your life is really hits you.

Jeff: Yhhh man i had a serious case of the post-wank blues yesterday, it dawned on me that i should have a job and not be wanking over midget porn

Steve: I know your pain man

by The monkeymon August 25, 2013

ski wank

When a female is in between two males and is masterbating both at the same time.

John and ciaran where lying on the bed and stephanie came in drunk and sat between them. She tells them to pull their trousers down then starts masterbating both at the same time. Aka ski wank

by John David Thompson September 12, 2013

Teapot wank

An act of masturbation where the person sticks at least one finger up their ass whilst masturbating.

Robert- Why're you looking at that kettle in a weird way
Adam- Had myself a teapot wank last night
Robert- You're messed up man.

by Lancastrian Wolf November 19, 2013

Pish wank

Load of rubbish

Usually used as a respond to 'gen up'. E.g. I just saw a unicorn crapping rainbows, gen up! Nae mate that's pish wank

by Thehobbit February 14, 2015

AMPM wank

when you start to masturbate in the early hours of the day and ejaculate in the second part of the day. Also vice versa.

i started to get off at 11:50pm and i finished at 12:31am... a truly magnificent AMPM wank

by Monopoly mayfair clickbait April 12, 2017

Proper Wank

Adelaide Strikers batting lineup

A slang word for Adelaide Strikers, “oh thats proper wank”
Definition 1. Jake Weatherald, Alex Carey, Phil Salt, Travis Head, Rashid Khan, Matt Short

by NAUGHTY NONCE February 1, 2020

that’s wank

This means something is like well stupid or rubbish.

E.g. is that a Rubik cube that’s wank

by Itz_mia_dat_hoe January 31, 2018