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Squirrel

a person who always shows up when someone has weed but NEVER has any to contribute. This person may also upcharge friends and pinch their bags when their acting as middleman. EVERYBODY knows at least one of these people.
this kid I know Scott is the biggest squirrel. He took a hit bigger than any of us and didn't even throw in.

Hey man, I hope Scott isn't at your house- I was gonna bring some uberdanks over and smoke you out but he alwaya squirrels his way into the rotation.
by MastaBlasta420 September 21, 2009
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squirrel

One who causes a distraction, or draws attention away from the real problem.
Person 1: Oh my God, you broke a wheel off my car!

Person 2:Dude, isn't Megan Fox hot?

Person 1: Yeah she is...

Bystandard: What a squirrel.
by HydrocholricAcid November 19, 2010
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squirrels

A term used to describe the feeling of a seroquel hangover
by Tok3 September 7, 2011
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Squirrel

Noun:
Unit of measurement used to relate emotional distance.

NOTE: This is a relative distance per individual and can be used in a positive or negative sense.
1) My girlfriend and I are so close, we're probably less than one squirrel away at any given moment.

2) I feel like my best friend from second grade is a million squirrels away when I think about him.
by Mister Cameo October 18, 2012
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Moose and Squirrel

The act of masturbating to nude photos of Melania Trump. See also: Fist Lady
Melania Trump looked so hot at the Inaugural Ball that I had to pull out my laptop and do a Moose and Squirrel right then and there.
by Doctor Thursday November 9, 2016
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Squirrel Monkey Buckets

a random word a person uses when they are fucked off or fed up with everything.....
by Lady Monkey of the Bucket December 16, 2003
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Squirrel Turds

Chocolate covered peanuts. Consumed by the metric ton in movie theaters world-wide. Excellent when mixed with Pelican poo pellets and stirred into a Trashcan of Orvilles. Great Grindage for the Munchies when you're Chinese-Eyed. Not to be confused with Gerbil Turds, although they are easily interchangable.
Yo, Dude! Gimme two dollars! I gotta go drain the main vein an' getta box of Squirrel Turds from the snack shack, you wan' anything?
by Wuffageeter May 25, 2007
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