if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft

When a girl wants you in her bed, but she doesn't play Minecraft, tell her this.

(me) Bitch I'm tryna start a minecraft server you in or nah?
(Jessica) Make me your bitch ;)
(me) Listen Jessica, if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft.

by GamingCat0179 September 9, 2019

Don't blame a clown

Don't blame a clown for acting clownish, if you keep going to the circus!

Don't blame a clown for being a clown.

by I, Wreckerrr April 28, 2021

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

A "hip" expression of the 1960's-70's that advises you not to do something risky unless you are willing and able to accept the full weight of the consequences.

Ironically popularized by the theme song to the TV show "Baretta" starring Robert Blake.

Fred: "I'm losing my license for drunk driving..."

Charlie: "Quit complaining! You know what they tell you: 'don't do the crime if you can't do the time!'"

by PJ Poppyjoe July 17, 2005

Don't jerk the car

Don't jerk the car is used when you're telling a driver to drive someone over

Mike: Yo don't jerk the car for that guy I hears he's an opp

by OppWitSeriousMembers May 28, 2020

don’t have a cow, man

1) A saying said by Bart Simpson in seasons 1-9 of the popular animated comedy The Simpsons, until someone got themselves fired and everything got screwed up.

Nelson: You’re stupid! Haw Haw!
Bart: Don’t have a cow, man!

by Bluebird42 March 4, 2018

don't give me crap

when somebody tells you something you (don't) want to hear

Guy 1: Everybody knows you suck at fighting back
Guy 2: Don't Give Me Crap you duckfuck

by your best idiot April 5, 2010

I ain't fuckin this cat, I'm just holding the legs

Don't blame me, it ain't my plan, I just work here.

Jack: Why are we reorganizing the supply closet for the third time this week.

John: Hey, I ain't fuckin this cat, I'm just holding the legs.

Jack: Got it.

by You will not win today July 22, 2011