spinach

A disgusting slimy-soggy acridly-bitter green produced by cruel-hearted farmers who smirkingly collude with equally-sadistic parents in an effort to torture our nation's youth. Same goes for broccoli, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, fiddleheads, beet leaves/stalks, and any other horridly-unappealing chlorophyll-rich garden-crap that causes otherwise-normal youngsters who are unfortunate enough to be presented with said revolting unpalatables to prematurely contemplate suicide.

There are so many alternative foods and dietary-products --- especially with modern-day knowledge/technology --- that children could be fed instead of spinach and other horrendously-yucky leafy-greens! And in any case, of course, contrary to what kiddie-health-obsessed parents try to convince their tearful little ones, it has NOT ever actually been indisputably proven that these disgusting comestibles truly "add color to your cheeks" (Who wants green cheeks?!) or otherwise create a significant improvement in every growing child's development, especially if --- again --- said youngster eats an otherwise healthful diet which avoids “junk food” and includes also-nutritious-and-much-more-palatable veggies like lettuce, peas, beans, carrots, corn, etc.. Plus his being forced to choke down such fear-of-mealtimes-producing distastefuls can also have a seriously-negative --- and completely opposite from the desired --- effect, as well... just like da proverbial child who “was drugged as a child --- my parents ‘drug’ me to church", the agonized youth may in fact NOT “learn to like it”, but will instead become so agonizingly sickened and “turned off” from "healthy eats" that he will secretly decide to totally shun any and all consumption of green vegetables just as soon as he is no longer under someone's authority, and so he therefore may eventually become a complete "meat 'n' potatoes man" with clogged arteries and a "built-in writing-desk", if ya know what I mean!

by QuacksO November 20, 2018

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