Ted time

Masturbation, self pleasure, rubbing one out, jacking off, polishing the mayonnaise canon, beating off, shooting the love gun, spank the monkey, ext...

I was getting turned on watching Miles shower in the locker room so I had to jump in a stall for some Ted time.

by Ruta Belmont September 23, 2011

Ted Cruz

A Ted Cruz is when you run away to Cancun instead of solving the actual problem.

Damn, she isn't in a good mood today. I think I'll pull a Ted Cruz on her instead of solving the problem.

by Amira :) April 5, 2021

TED Talk

Used in a sarcastic tone when someone has made an obvious "scientific discovery". Derives from the global TED conferences.

Person 1: "I left my water bottle outside in the snow and it froze!"

Person 2: "Really? Maybe you should do a f***ing TED talk about it, surely no one has heard of that before."

by w8w7uh May 1, 2011

Ted Cruise

A pleasurable activity in which one partakes during a time of crisis while avoiding responsibility.

My best friend texted me that his car broke down in the middle of nowhere, but I ignored the text and took a Ted Cruise.

by Browneyedboy69 February 19, 2021

ted bundied

when someone seems normal but turns out to be a psychopath

i found this roommate she seems pretty chill but hopefully i don’t get ted bundied

by bedtundy April 15, 2019

ted haggard

Ted Arthur Haggard is an American evangelical preacher. He is also known for having fucked Mike Jones, denying it, then accepting it and subsequently resigning his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Ted Haggard: I am a deceiver and a liar. The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality...There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life.

Me: You're teh ghey. Both literally and metaphorically.

Ted Haggard: I know...

by Rodrigoh! December 11, 2008

Ted Up

From the show "How I met your mother" Ted is the main character, he's looking for a relationship but when he finds something he over thinks everything. Behind his back his friends use the term Ted Up to mean overthink with catastrophic results. All so see Ted Out

Billy Ted Up/Tedded Up when he tried to get to know that girl.

by Heymanthisisawesome July 4, 2006