Porcelain palsy

The temporary lack of sensation and occasional paralytic effect on the legs as a result of spending too much time on the toilet, usually due to spending a long time on social media or reading a good book.

I made the mistake of throwing down in a meme war on FB while in the bathroom.
After an hour or so, I couldn't stand up because I was a victim of the dreaded porcelain palsy.

by rev. ray July 30, 2016

Porcelain Drips

Taking a shit but only burning drops of liquid feces are expelled. They sting the sphincter so bad that you grab the handicap bars, grimace with pain, clench your teeth and wish someone would shove an ice cube up your ass just to cool it down. If you didn't know better, you'd think hot lava was pouring from your bung.

Carl partied all night and then made a trip to Taco Hell. He suffered the next morning with the porcelain drips.

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017

percent xo

someone who never leaves his xrocker

why is he acting like percent xo?

by the biggest of all nigs June 25, 2018

Porcelain Lasagne

When one enters a public toilet to discover the previous occupant has decided it’s time for some Italian cuisine.

One must recognise when a poo has been left in a toilet, the next logical step is to create a porcelain lasagne.

Recipe:

Meat - Poo
Cheese - Smegma
Béchamel Sauce - Semen

Pasta Sheets - Bog roll

Prep time - User discrepancy

Serves - 4-6
Preheat your oven to 180° C
Reverse Kangaroo - recommended

Holy fuck, someone has started a porcelain lasagne in this toilet, see you soon boys, it’s time for the cheese layer.

by facelymilkington September 15, 2021

painting porcelain

the act of defecating on such a large scale that the interior of a normally white porcelain toilet bowl is rendered an entirely different color, typically brown

"Jim, where are you headed off to in such a hurry?"
"I don't think that oyster burrito agreed with me. I'm pretty sure it's gonna have me painting porcelain."

by triebkore March 16, 2012

0 Percent

A phrase used by fuck boys typically named Jon, who may also go by Jono or Jonny.

Person one: I bet you banged that sloot last night.
Jon: Oh no man 0 percent, 0 percent.

by Dillweedman420 June 12, 2016

Extra Cellular Perception

The phenomenon that occurs with your cell phone when you hear it ring or feel it vibrates right before you receive a call.

Mike: "Holy hell!"

Pete: "What?"

Mike: "I felt my phone go off, then I got a call. It's like I have extra cellular perception!"

by Randy 440 January 28, 2008