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Jesus Poker

People on Facebook that post Bible verses as their status updates in a way to show that they are Christians in an annoying way, or to state that they are better people by knowing Bible verses.
Alana posted another Psalm as her status. She is such a Jesus Poker.

Catholic Douce Bag
by Anti Saint September 22, 2009
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Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick

From the song "Stuart," by The Dead Milkmen:

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Werzner kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Everybody knows that a burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground! Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"
by SwankSpike April 13, 2006
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lawd jesus

When You see a girl with a nice Butt, "Lawd Jesus, That Ass"
When you see fire, "Lawd, Jesus, There's a Fire"
by inside_you April 6, 2015
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fluffy Jesus feeling

A sardonic description of that comforting sense that Jesus approves of you no matter what you do.
I robbed that bank, terrifying the shit out of everyone inside, and then right afterward, a powerful fluffy Jesus feeling washed over me like a river of love.
by Dr Bunnygirl May 29, 2019
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tambourine jesus

always keep a tambourine handy boyo, you never know when you need one
I was talking to tambourine jesus yesterday hes really cool and has a tambourine.
by GFMS_bnad June 29, 2020
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flight line jesus

A Command Master Chief in Lemoore, that can make anything happen with a snap of a finger, or stroke of a key board. Who will scour the flight line of VFA communities for talent to bless, always maintains holy water in his office refrigerator.
How did u get orders here? Oh flight line jesus got me here.
by Easyliving February 25, 2023
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Jesus Bitch

1. A girl who is in love with Jesus to an extreme to where she is really fucking annoying. 2. A girl who constantly attends church, but is a total slut. 3. A girl that knows more about dick and Jersey Shore than she does about her own religion. 4. A girl who's idea of God is about as empty and shallow as her vagina.
I'm going to punch that Jesus Bitch in the face if she doesn't shut up!" "Go hump a bible like your man-whore, Jesus Bitch!" "I bet the Jesus Bitch would suck cock for the offering."
by churchpeopleareannoying April 25, 2011
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