Sidewalk Baptism

Similar in effect to the spiritual cleansing or rebirth of denominations which practice Water Baptism, Sidewalk Baptisms differ in that they are spontaneous, involuntary, and predicated by violence.

A Sidewalk Baptism occurs when one, who was once flippantly hostile, becomes humble and de-escalatory upon receiving a demoralizing or defeating blow.

You will recognize a Sidewalk Baptism by the subject's sudden desire to be cleansed of their sins, be reborn, or otherwise gain the acceptance of the community.

"Start behaving yourself before you earn a sidewalk baptism."

by Vodik_VDK October 19, 2022

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Cracker Barrel Baptism

First coined by comedic legend Theo Von, a Cracker Barrel Baptism refers to one person throwing up on another (This Past Weekend, Ep. #478)

“Ole Joe had one too many and gave Tami a Cracker Barrel Baptism while they was dancin”

by StrakeBleeter January 19, 2024

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Baptism

It's a thing where priests drown babies on a pool of holy water

Example: Bryan went on his friend's baptism party.

by Pookiebearlmao November 6, 2023

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European Baptism

When out in a European country and you get shit on by a bird, preferably a pigeon.

"Hey Andy! We are sitting outside drinking in Venice and 4 out of the 5 of us just got shit on by a bird!" "Ahh yes, a European Baptism."

by sweetntart July 26, 2024

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Baptism by smoke

A person being introduced to smoking marijuana for the first time.

Person 1: "You're happier than usual. Almost like a religious person."
Person 2: "I had a baptism by smoke recently."
Person 1: "What does that mean?"
Person 2: "It means 'A person being introduced to smoking marijuana for the first time.'"
Person 1: "Oh, so that means you smoked for the first time?"
Person 2: "Yes."
Person 1: "Who baptized you?"
Person 2: "Janey did."

by JanesBestFriend May 2, 2023

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