(v.) the act of sodomizing an unsuspecting homosexual negroid; often results in the contraction of AIDS. When jareding, the perpetrator lures in a pack of niggers with a bucket of fresh KFC. As the apes feast on the chicken, he thoroughly inspects them, searching for the one with the largest, most African elephant dick.
Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.
In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Although penises with piercings and other tribal deformities are preferred, the largest cock will suffice for jareding. Once a suitable porch monkey is selected, he will coerce the creature with pictures of female apes. As the negroid achieves a massive erection, the jareder will sneak up and position his well greased anus above the shaft.
In one swift motion, the perpetrator impales his ass on the cock and rides it like a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, eventually causing the negroid to ejaculate. In the final step of jareding, the sick fuck will proceed to collect the semen and pour it over fresh chalupas, as he is usually 13 year old faggot Taco Bell fanboy. As he eats the chalupas, the jareder smiles with joy stroking his tiny 2.3" dick to a picture of Jack Bauer, contemplating his next victim.
Blake: My asshole is feeling really tight, you wanna go jared tonight?
Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
Jared: Sure Mr. Locati! I'd love to go, although I call dibs on your freshly made semen-covered tacos, I'm too much of a curly headed fucking jew to pay for Taco Bell! Did I mention I'm gay?
by Von Cockenberg January 3, 2011
Get the jaredmug. by A dude Jared knows March 25, 2017
Get the Jaredmug. a total stud from Cali.
my boyfriend, my favorite, my love.
loves the Lord, loves his friends, loves his family.
will someday be an amazing husband and dad.
needs to come eat a mango with me, enjoys breakfast food, hates cherry flavored items. he's a eagle scout.
and he's mine.
my boyfriend, my favorite, my love.
loves the Lord, loves his friends, loves his family.
will someday be an amazing husband and dad.
needs to come eat a mango with me, enjoys breakfast food, hates cherry flavored items. he's a eagle scout.
and he's mine.
by Kelcy February 6, 2008
Get the Jared mug. That one guy who gets a girlfriend somehow but doesn’t know how to treat her and dry humps her in front of her friends. He’ll talk to other girls and call his girlfriend annoying for wanting a little more attention because Jared pays more attention to his side hoes. Seems like a cool guy at first by absolutely sucks at relationships.
by HighAutisticRetard April 3, 2019
Get the Jaredmug. a gay right handed man that thinks he is good at everything and feels that google is the beholder of all.
I'm right,my name is jared.
by battery8765 January 3, 2009
Get the jaredmug. by Jaredsabitch August 18, 2014
Get the Jaredmug. A girls douchey cock blocking best friend who she claims is her best friend or her brother. He is usually tall and sometimes older this is a new brand of Jared though called a Ped-Jared. His life is usually void of guy friends as he is unaware of what the bro code is. He will always try and hug your girlfriend or try to take her away from you.
Boyfriend: Hey can you hang out later.
Girlfriend: Maybe.
Jared: No remember we are going to the opera.
Boyfriend: Way to pull a Jared fag. Bro code remember?
Jared: What does the bro code mean?
Girlfriend: Maybe.
Jared: No remember we are going to the opera.
Boyfriend: Way to pull a Jared fag. Bro code remember?
Jared: What does the bro code mean?
by hometree January 21, 2011
Get the Jaredmug.