Yertle the turtle

When you make a bitch cum with your knee and nothing else

Jenna: I made that bitch cum with just my knee last night

Veronica: you yertled the turtle!

Yertle the turtle: making bitches cum with knee ONLY

by yertturt October 24, 2020

Post Turtle

A turtle balanced on top of a fence post

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas rancher (whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid guy get down."

by Pinko_Commie May 6, 2004

get turtle

attempting to secretly grab, nudge, or poke a man's penis while he is not looking. This is typically done as sexual flirting or provocation, and is not to be confused with a "dick check" that frat brothers typically distribute as a joke to inflict pain.

While we were at the Pride Parade, this guy came up and rubbed Eddie's leg. He was totally trying to get turtle.

by Padge1982 September 7, 2010

Gossip Turtle

Someone who does not participate in, promote or generally engage in office gossip.

"John did not know that Jack and Rachel were having an affair? He is such a gossip turtle."

by Morty Nickels July 24, 2012

Snapping turtle

DO NOT LOOK THIS UP ON URBAN DICTIONARY YOU WILL REGRET IT! A snapping turtle is really an agressive but cool turtle, you can keep them as pets.

I love snapping turtles.

by SomeMoronThatIsDumb November 24, 2022

Chase the Turtle

Chasing the turtle refers to consuming Xanax in order to slow down, or chill. Xanax is often used after using other recreational drugs (with stimulant or insomniac properties) in order to induce sleep or enter a "come-down" period. As a turtle is a slow animal, chasing the turtle naturally means to slow down, usually after a long night of partying.

Hey man, you're pretty wired after doing that blow, maybe you should chase the turtle.

by Uncle Apple May 24, 2011

walk the turtle

Being slowed down by a drag.

Man working with Dave has been so slow, he’s making me really walk the turtle.

by Turtleman808 January 31, 2020